Religion may have a different meaning to different people but it's part of the total Indian tradition. Worlds' major faiths meet in India: Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity & Islam. The first two were born in India. Many Indian saints and Sufi poets created such large following that they almost created new religions or sects. India hosted Jews in years before Christ and Zoroastrians - the Farsis or Parsis from Persia.
India - a secular democracy guarantees the rights of religious freedom to all citizens. India's national flag has Orange representing Hinduism, Green represents Islam and white all other faiths. Diwali, Holi, Christmas, Easter, Eed and Muharram and birthdays of Buddha, Mahavira & NanakDev are national holidays.Rabindra Nath Tagore paid a tribute in a poem which became national anthem of India. Addressing the divine power as Bharatbhagya Vidhata (the dispenser of India's destiny) - the poet said"
Your call goes out to the Hindus, the Buddhists, the Sikhs, the Jains, the Parsis, the Muslims and the Christians. They all come, gather around your throne, and weave a garland of love for your worship"
Is there any better way to describe our plurality and our lovely diversity...
Coexisting among so many faiths and zillions of other ancient belief systems - is a major challenge for a person born in the ancient civilization like of South Asia.
People have inter-mingled, shopped, lived together for centuries but the new technologies, travels and urban life - will accelerate the process of fusion further - when newer generations will create new trends by marrying a person of other faith - without causing any social upheavals or revolutions..
| By boras on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 11:50 am: |
Thanks Ghatak.
Apology heartedly accepted. I do believe that when I do find a partner (Indian or non-Indian), it will be for life, which is the way I have been bought up. My parents have been happily married for 40 years. When you say I must be one out of millions of that kind, I must thank you, however I do believe there are so many other Westerners that have had the same upbringing as I have, and have the same attitude to the sacredness of marriage.
If I am to marry an Indian girl (for life of course), and the girl is happy, as well as her parents and family, then shouldn't the community who socialise with this family accept me as well? I can't really understand why the community could 'kick' this girl and possibly the girl's family out, when they know that the girl is happy.
Please comment on this.
To Livefrom India:
I am intrigued when you say "That type of support structure does not exist in the western societies, Australia included!", as I am from New Zealand. Have you heard of New Zealand? :-)
If so, I am from Christchurch, and have lived there 25 years. (I am 25 years old)
Thanks everyone!
| By Sincerely... on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 05:39 pm: |
Hi Boras,
Please note that alot of generalizing is done here. Occasionally I need to look in the mirror to make sure horns aren't growing out of my head!;o)
Anyway, you know & I know that there are many (Westerners) that are just as spiritual, loyal & understanding as anyone from the East, mabey more so in some cases.
Take Care,
Sincerely...
| By boras on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 11:31 am: |
Hi everyone.
I have checked this site for the last couple of days to see if someone has replied to my question.
But no one has! Thanks to Sincerely
Boras......
| By Anonymous on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 11:25 am: |
Has this page or discussion moved somewhere else.
It was just getting interesting.
| By Sincerely... on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 08:34 pm: |
Activity on pages changes constantly. Still the same area for this discussion, but people bounce around from subject to subject.
Michelle
| By KJSINGH on Thursday, November 04, 1999 - 12:46 am: |
Ghatak:
Actually Spousal Abuse is very prevelant in the indian community in western societies... I have worked at a shelter for women and have seen it. Unfortunatly, the old rules of "don't talk/it will bring shame to the family" are still predominant here in the U.S.
| By Jat Punjabi on Saturday, November 06, 1999 - 01:24 am: |
Editor,
Is this a correct statement in the introduction of this page?
"India's national flag has Orange representing Hinduism, Green represents Islam and white all other faiths."
We were always taught in schools that the Kesri (Orange) represented Sacrifice, White represented Peace, and Green represented Green Revolution in India. Please, check it out.
Thank oyu
| By JAY on Sunday, November 07, 1999 - 01:13 am: |
DEAR ANONYMOUS,
I THINK WE BOTH AGREE ON THE SAME POINT THAT YOU CANNOT JUST GO AHEAD AND MARRY ANYONE WITHOTU CONSIDERING THE CONSEQUENCES UNLESS YOU PLAN TO HAVE NO CHILDREN.
| By Leena on Monday, November 08, 1999 - 05:52 am: |
I feel that there's more to an inter-religous marriage than the love and respect essential to relationships and and celebrating similarties. After all, you may have two totally different sets of value systems in play! And while mutual love and respect for individuality may be enough to sustain the couple's relationship, what about the rest of the family - not just kids, but parents, siblings etc? I know that sounds trivial, but bear with me here. I'm Hindu, and I'd want to continue to attend pujas, bhajans, and go to the temple as I have done all my life with my family. My fiance, Carlos, is Catholic, and he'd of course like to continue to attend Mass with his family - over Christmas and Easter especially. So what happens if I'd like him to a puja with me and my family (kids later on), or if he asks me to come with him to midnight mass at Christmas?
I don't know the answers to these questions yet, but I think the first step is to udnerstand that at some point, a comflict of interests can come up.
Carlos and I have spoken in general terms about kids (we definitely want them) and how we will raise them. We both feel it is important to raise them in one faith, with utmost understanding and respect for the other faith (esp. as the parent practises/views it). Neither of us is deeply religous, or devout, but we've embraced the philosophies of Hinduism and Catholicism, respectively.
I think another key is to make sure that we do all things of faith with solidsarity - ie. if I go to a puja, then the kids and Carlos come too, and if Carlos goes to church on Sunday, than the kids and I go to (whatever faith we decide to raise them in). More than anything, I think that by really showing respect of the other's beliefs, Carlos and I can make sure that our family, especially our kids, are proud well-adjusted and appreciative of all of their heritage. And our families can be happy knowing that we're content despite our religous differences.
Leena
| By Patel on Thursday, November 11, 1999 - 04:43 pm: |
I am against inter-religious marriage. It is always Hindus and Sikhs who lose out when their woman goes off with a Muslim. This is happening a lot now - all in the name of "love". What crap. We Hindus have suffered enough. The Mughals took our country. The British took it. The Congress has ruined it. We were thrown out of Uganda. And now when we are finally settling down, the candy-floss brained young girls in Hindu community is going off with others. Don't they have any respect for the suffering of their parents? I do not want to marry any girl who has been screwing about with others during her youth. I will even go back to a village in Gujarat to get a clean girl.
| By Princess on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 05:41 am: |
Patel,
You go get yourself a 'clean' girl. You do that.
Now what about those "terrible" guys who marry and date outside of their own religion 'hinduism'? What kind of punishment do you have for them? Castration?
| By Anonymous on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 05:44 am: |
Patel,
That's true that Sikhs and Hindus loose when they're girls go with a muslim. You asked if the girls have any respect for their parents, well the answer is NO, they don't care anymore. I don't think they care about a thing. You can see it in their attitudes.
| By Leena on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 03:23 pm: |
Anonymous, it's possible to be respectful of one's parents and then decide to make a decision that's right for one's self.
| By Patel on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 07:08 pm: |
Princess, you will not find many Hindu boys cheating on their girlfriend/wife. This is primarily a habit of others. Anonymous, I agree that these girls have no respect for their parents. They are replicas of Sangeeta Bijlani and only do what they want. Selfish little.....
| By Indiangirl on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 09:28 pm: |
Patel
YOu are so mistaken when you say that "you will not find many Hindu boys cheating on their girlfriend/wife" that's just a lie and you know it!!!!!
What could possible make you say that??? Relgion has nothing to do with the act??? Correction, IT IS THE CULTURE that one is exposed to (also, the environement, upbringing) that directs one's behavior.
And, I have a lot of friends that unfortunately have gone through this, and let me tell you one thing........one has nothing to do with the other (relgion-cheating!!!) These acts are visible in all religions and cultures.......it is sad, but that is the truth!!!!!
I HAVE "found many Hindu boys cheating" but that does not make me generalize that all of them are like that!!!!! It really depends on the individuals........this is a very simple concept, I hope you see that.
| By Princess on Saturday, November 13, 1999 - 12:47 am: |
Patel,
You are a bit misled about your vision of "hindu boys". Men cheat as Indiangirl put it in any culture regardless of religion. However Indian culture is not exempt to this. 100's of men wouldn't be cheating on their wives and bringing home AIDS if "hindu boys" were so pure. Maybe you should stop watching too many Indian movies and cite some real life examples and people instead of Indian actresses.
| By tina on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 05:35 am: |
i am posting this message because i am catholic but deeply in love with a sikh he says that his family is very strict about the whole religion thing i read alot about sikhism and i am willing to convert and go with his religion but i dont know if his parents would accept me i've heard that indian parents are really strict i am spanish and i dont know if they would accept me for that reason also i really dont want to lose him please tell me what do you think about this any responses would be greatly appreciated thanx!!! =)
| By Vanita on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 07:22 am: |
I have followed the discussion about religion and kids with some interest. I am from a mixed religious background, dad is Hindu and mum is Catholic (she didn't convert) and yes I am Indian. Spent my childhood in India and attended both Catholic and Hindu schools and we did attend mid-night mass and also went to the temple during the various festivals. I don't consider myself either Hindu or Catholic (I think I was baptised). I didn't grow up confused about my background and it has been a while since I've been to a either Church or a Temple. Is this normal?
| By triton on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 10:32 am: |
Hi all,
In hinduism where does it mention that inter-religious marraiges are not recommended (as someone mentioned earlier), it is however a way of life that follows basic logical rules...
By the way a question "Why circumcise? (as in islam and christianity)"
Did the creator forget to chop of something before creating us?
My sincere appologies to those who might have been ofended by my question.
| By Jat Punjabi on Saturday, November 20, 1999 - 04:06 am: |
Hi Tina,
I hope you won't have to convert. But if you are willing to convert it's really nice of you. But, make sure it isn't against your will. It looks like you are really in love with him and I hope his parents accept you. I am pretty sure they will.
Good luck and God bless.
| By confused on Sunday, December 05, 1999 - 04:12 pm: |
I am just wondering about inter-religious marriages from a Jewish perspective.....
I am a Jewish male, and I admit I find Indian girls very beautiful to me!
What do people have to say about relationships/marriages like: Jewish/Hindu; Jewish/Muslim; Jewish/Sikh; Jewish/Gujerati?
can these marriages work? I mean, I am not a deeply religious person, but I do follow some of the basic principles...
Thanks in advance !!!
Peace, love, empathy, and hope to everyone!!!
| By Savraj on Tuesday, December 07, 1999 - 06:21 am: |
Indiangirl
I am visting this part of the website for the first time. That Dharaminder made real negative comments about Sikhism and he has even gone as far as saying that the riots of 84 were justified and have described gruesome acts of how some hindu fanatics killed Sikhs. He has written under the ayodia temple/ babri Masjid goard that the muslims are going to be slautered after govt. gives some decision on the issus.
If the editors can tolerate these sort of messages then there is no need for them that they are not biased. If they won't do anything about this I do not know what is the point in discussing that anything can be done
| By Anonymous on Tuesday, December 07, 1999 - 06:22 am: |
gujerati is not a religion jew
| By Eternal on Wednesday, December 08, 1999 - 05:25 am: |
Savraj;
I believe you and your singhs also made some derogatory comments about hindus too and their practices, beliefs and gods. What goes around comes around! Anyway that discussion has been taken off the board now, which is probably the best thing, since it has become a hang out area for fanatics & religious hate mongers to spread their hatred and gain 'followers'. It was useful to show that anyone from any religion is capable of hate but at the same time think they're are the most godly person who knows everything abouT their religion and practice it 100%. If only they practiced it. If people can't show a little respect, their voice should not be heard, since they can't offer anything positive. I believe in educating and showing the truth, but at the same time offering solutions.
You had people coming here just to personally attack other religions and attempt to spread their own. If we were interested in learning about the true essence of someone else's religion, this is not the place to look at.
| By moderator on Wednesday, December 08, 1999 - 05:42 am: |
Dear Eternal, Savraj, Indian Girl and other friends
We noticed your comments. Our intentions are based on good faith and honesty but people with malicious mind only believe in writing derogatory comments about other religions or people of different faith to prove their ignorance.
Finally we have taken off the privilege of posting as anonymous and direct post from today and postings will only be posted if one of the moderators review them. We are resuming the discussion only with the sole purpose of education, intelligent and impartial debate and open talk without engaging in mud slinging and abuses.
We welcome all people of all origins without any prejudice.
We however must make a comment that none of us or anyone can offend or defend a faith or a religion as that is beyond individuals.
Anyone who think that their faith is being offended is insecure and should do some soul searching......
Best of luck and 24 days are left for 2000.
| By Indiangirl on Wednesday, December 08, 1999 - 06:10 am: |
moderator
Thanks for taking a look at it. I was not offended by all those posts, but just was expressing a concern as to where the discussions were leading to.....I don't think I would ever have to defend my religion to anyone, or get offended by someone's ignorant remarks, I think most of us know what the real truth is that is behind our religions.....however, I think this site has great things to offer in terms of advice, similar experiånce sharing and so forth. I just would hate to see it go down ôhe drain and become a site to come and bash other people by taking advantage of the anonymity.......God knows this site has helped me, and I would like it to do the same for others for a long time..........
:)
| By Editor on Thursday, December 09, 1999 - 11:37 am: |
Dear Sister Indiangirl ¼BR>
You are most welcome.
We do believe in an open communication as thats the only repeat ONLY way to know more.
Siîce Knowledge has no limits, discussions will never end however we can find a meaning for our questions in this valuable exchange of sincere ideas...
We request all readers to be sensétive to other religionists or people of different faiths than their own as there is nothing different except our ideas, and God is one single entity which we all belong to......
| By Indiangirl on Friday, December 10, 1999 - 05:58 am: |
Editor
Well said!!!!!
| By NSM on Wednesday, December 15, 1999 - 07:31 am: |
Hi there,
I have been going through the postings on this site and I find it very énteresting. I am a 38 yr American white woman that has been in a relationship with a Muslim Indian since 1996. We love each othår very much. He told his parents about us a while back and they told him that they would not accept our relationship. In February of this year he told me that he had decided to do what his paòents wanted and look into this whole arranged marriage ideal because of the Indian culture and the fact that he believes that hå could not live with the fact of seeing his parents hurt. I was very hurt and upset, but I let him go because if that is what he wanted to do, then I could not stop him. My first concern is always his happiness. Apparently he had agreed to marry someone of their chose about two months ago, however, right before Thanksgiving things changed. He told his parents that he would not marry that woman, that he loved me and he wants to marry me. They are extremely hurt and angry and his father is threatening to go back to India to live.(they do spend most of their time here in the states). I am working on learning about Islam as well as Urdu(their spoken language). Does anyone out there have any advise on what I (as the outsider) can do to soften the anger that the parents are feeling? I have met them on two occasions, very briefly. I am six years older than their son and I have been divorced(I do have a son of my own), however, we have discussed all of these things between ourselves and he is okay with all of it.Please help!!!!!!
mnancy@flash.net
| By Ishmail on Friday, December 17, 1999 - 10:24 pm: |
All
I am a 22 year old Muslim who has just married a Hindu girl with hers and mine family blessings. Our parents get along fine and I hope that this will be the case for people in other mixed relationships.
| By sadiya on Friday, December 17, 1999 - 11:01 pm: |
Ishmail
Congratulations on your marriage. You are a very lucky man as the parents have accepted everything. However, could you please tell "Indian Girl" and "Hindu" how you got your parents to accept the marriage? They are very emotional because their parents are not accepting their partner. Thanks in advance.
Sadiya
| By Indiangirl on Saturday, December 18, 1999 - 04:38 am: |
Sadiya
Thanks for asking Ishmail.........you truly understand the dilemna we are in.
Ishmail
Yes, I would definately like some more details oh how you and your wife (now) got your parents to see your love..............please share. Like Sadiya said....you are a very lucky man. How long were you guys dating before the marriage?
| By Ghatak on Saturday, December 18, 1999 - 05:43 am: |
Guys,
Do something good. Be a member of this site. They will pay $2.00 to the charity for every memeber. Thanks
http://www.ireachout.com/satbeer
| By Ranjeet on Monday, December 20, 1999 - 08:04 pm: |
Are there any love marriages between couples of muslim origin?
What problems present when two muslims decide to get married when they are from different sects ie Sunni and Shia? Is it looked upon badly?
| By Editor on Saturday, January 01, 2000 - 09:54 am: |
Hello Happy New Year to all friends
Ok We have a new chapter for various discussions related to astrology, compatibility factors, kismet etc. at Can Astrology Really Help Achieve any Help to Fix Matrimonial & Romantic Relationships?
Clicking on the link above you may find a few older threads and a few new topics.
The last message of Pk will also be moved to this new page.
Thanks and hope you all have started the New Year with zeal.
| By confused on Sunday, January 09, 2000 - 04:38 pm: |
Hi to everyone out there!
Well, no one has answered me.. so I might ask again....
I am a young Jewish male... I find Indian girls very attractive.... What do people have to say about Jewish/Hindu - Jewish/Muslim - Jewish/Sikh..... well Jewish/Indian relationships/marriages on the whole?
Thanks in advance (again!!! :-) )
p
Peace, love and empathy to all!
(Happy new millenium to everyone!!!)
| By peace on Sunday, January 09, 2000 - 07:29 pm: |
I am an American woman who has fallin in love with a Hindu man. And he with me. As most are these days it is one of internet right now and will with Gods blessing be more at some time in the future. I am concerned about his family ever excepting me due to the fact that I am a Pagan. My beliefs have always come very close to that of the Hindu faith. But I have found my peace now in making my own way to God. Is calling myself a Witch or Pagan going to change how they will view me. Are the Indian people educated on what Paganism is. Here in the US there are many still very ignorant to it and it gives a very negative vibe to people. He doesn't seem to mind what I am, and knows I am a good person...But will they feel the same. I have posted many times here and never seem to beable to get the message up. Please post this..I really could use some advice...Thank You and Bright Blessings to All of you... Peace
| By Princess on Monday, January 10, 2000 - 05:07 am: |
Peace,
I responded to you on January 3rd on the Marrying a Foreigner string - Will You Adapt Hindu Culture If You Marry A Hindu ? when you posted as Ann. Please don't post the same question on different boards it won't allow consistant flow of conversation.
| By hindu pagan on Monday, January 10, 2000 - 08:24 am: |
hi Peace,
i think witches are universally feared and reviled,and its no different in india. why don't you just call yourself a hindu ? (its the same thing essentially as paganism, like you said, plus some nonsense hindu metaphysics. you can read up some books etc)
my personal feeling is that your man's parents will care less about your religion and more about your race. But you may be right, they may like the fact that you are pagan rather than christian. It all depends. They may also consider it more flaky and kooky, who knows!
regards,
a hindu
| By PEACE on Monday, January 10, 2000 - 09:18 pm: |
Princess, I couldn't find the original message I posted. I' sorry for any confusion.
| By Princess on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 - 03:17 am: |
By Ann on Monday, January 3, 2000 - 02:19 pm:
Well, I have a question for you...Do you think a Pagan
Witch can ever be excepted by a Hindu family. He eccepts me...but will they ever??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By Princess on Monday, January 3, 2000 - 10:48 pm:
Ann,
If he knows and it's clear between the two of you do they need to know? I mean technically do they need to know that you are a Pagan witch? Upon curiousity when peole ask you what religion you are do you say "Wika?"....not spelt correctly I think.
| By PEACE on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 - 03:50 am: |
Princess...I am not Wiccan..I am a Pagan Minister/High Priestess. I do not usually discuss with everyday peopele I meet what I am...And could you please tell me were to find that post I posted as Ann. I still can not find it
| By Ken from U.S. on Friday, January 14, 2000 - 01:38 am: |
I met my soulmate and girl of my dreams almost one
year ago. She is a Sikh from Punjab arriving in the
U.S. eleven years ago. I am a Christian, born and
raised in the United States. While I have been
sorely aware of the hard road ahead of us, my sights
have never been so keenly focused on the obstacles
that lie ahead as they are now. Her parents, being
very "religious" (I hate that word), don't know of
our relationship and she is very sure that they would
not approve at all. My ,now, bride to be fully
believes that her family will/would disown her and
possibly try to track her down when she runs away
with me someday. My parents know her and like her.
Although, I do sense a little discontent from my ,
also very religous, mother because I am not marrying
a Christian. My beautiful Indian bride was arranged
to be married weeks after we started seeing each
other but in order to prolong the time that she will
have with her family and little brother we have
continued to see each other secretly instead of
running away at this time. We have discussed the
situations that we will face raising our children
with the choice of two different religions. We have
also considered the alienation by her family and
Indian community and after considering all of this
she still is sure that she would rather spend the
rest of her life with me over anything else. I feel
the same way. I would do anything to be with her,
even leave my family if I had to. But sometimes I
think that if I really loved her I would let her go.
The family (and it is "family" really) that she is
arranged to is very well off and I am a man of lesser
financial means. We have talked about my feelings
about this and she still says that she would rather
be with me because she chose to love me first. She
(and I) know that our souls are interconnected and
our love for each other is infinitely strong. Money
isn't happiness and if your security lies in your
wealth how will you live if life turns around and
decides to leave you with little. Our (mine and
hers) security lies in the God that we serve (which
is the same!), in our love and commitment to each
other, and to making our lives work, overcoming all
obstacles. Her family may be moving out of town
soon. Her "other" marriage isn't to take place for
some time. I am going to "follow" them and continue
to see her secretly until the time is closer to her
arranged marriage. We will leave then. In reading
many of the letters from individuals of
inter-religious marriages I have noticed that one of
the most prominent barriers in these relationships is
personal pride in one's "own" religion. My God is
your God. We are all the children of the same
Father. Remove the blindfold of religion and seek
the truth of God. You will see LOVE. We are all
rivers flowing into the same ocean. When two rivers
combine there is much turbulence but together a more
powerful force of nature is created as it flows into
a peaceful and yet unstoppable entity..
| By anonymous on Friday, January 14, 2000 - 04:08 am: |
Ken.
It is not a question of religion.It is a question of race.
| By Heidi on Friday, January 14, 2000 - 10:52 am: |
Ken,
The main difference between your situation and most others on here is that your girlfriend hasn't even attempted to tell her family about you and is pretending to them that she is going to accept an arranged marriage. I know that there will be conflict, but is running away really the best solution? Why doesn't she tell them and give them a chance to understand? It also seem unfair to the guy she is arranged to marry. He doesn't know about you, so he doesn't deserve to get hurt by this. Your girlfriend basically has plans to hurt a lot of people, even if she doesn't want to. I don't think it's healthy to harbor a secret like that. I wish you two luck, and hope you make the right decisions.
| By Ken on Saturday, January 15, 2000 - 10:48 pm: |
Heidi,
Thank you for your honest views on my (our)
situation. My fiance is certain that her parents
would ship her to India, possibly having her killed,
or force her to marry him immediately if she said
anything to them. The first is the more likely of
the two situations because of the tremendous amount
of shame brought to her family. His family would
probably not want to marry her after learning that
she has already chosen another man. The shame
brought to her family cannot be blamed on her. It is
merely a consequence of the Indian culture. I mean
no disrespect. India is a beautiful country with
many extraordinary people (I know, I plan on marrying
one of them) but we are in the United States of
America!! She has been exposed to the values of this
country for so long how can her parents expect her to
abide by all of the customs of India in the United
States where anyone is free to marry whoever they
want and whoever they LOVE? We both feel awful
knowing that one day she will leave her parents
wondering and his family wondering but "stalling",
even though it may be selfish, is the only way that
she will get to spend a few more years with her
family that she will probably never get to see
again.
Thanks,
Ken
| By Diesel on Sunday, January 16, 2000 - 01:48 am: |
Ken,
I am sikh, and I can tell you the reason they would not accept you is because of the relegion. she is in a very bad situation. But guys do not lose hope, just go for it and later everything is going to be all right?. I was juts wondering how you would raise your kids? I am kinda in the same situation, but my love says she does not trust me anymore as I told her that I could not leave my family for ever , but I am trying to get her back. Any advice?
Thanx
God bless you
Diesel
| By Ken on Sunday, January 16, 2000 - 12:54 pm: |
Diesel,
Your words are very encouraging to me. Thank you
for your support. It is nice to be able to talk to
another Sikh besides my girl about these things. I,
of course, cannot talk to anyone in this area because
of the fact that Indian communities are very close
and it seems as though they all know one another. I
am sure that you understand this concept. I was
reading the previous letters about your beard
situation and I hope that you finally resolved it.
Although, from your last letter it seems as though
things have turned for the worse in your
relationship. First though, for my own mental
well-being, I must tell you that if I were you I
would ask God what I should do about my beard. It is
actually kinda funny to me because my fiance, while
insisting that she never wants me to have a beard,
likes it best when I haven't shaved for three or four
days, doesn't like it after two days because it
burns, and she thinks that I look like a "mama's boy"
when I am clean shaven, which is bad by the way. She
has told me with the utmost sincerity that she would
cut and dye her hair to hide her identity if
necessary. I think that what really matters is your
reason for doing something. Would God understand if
you shaved because it brought great discomfort to
your love if you didn't? I think so but to know for
sure you must ask. Ask and He will listen, seek and
you will find, knock and He will open the door. You
said that they would not accept me because of
religion. If you mean that because I am not Sikh
they will not accept me I can't agree. I
think that it is more than that.
If I converted they still would not accept me. If I
could "convert" and not give up my belief in Jesus
Christ then I would. I may someday decide to do
that. Maybe I'll start my own religion. combine the
two, and call it "The Sikhing Christ Religion". Get
it, "Sikh-ing Christ", ? I am just kidding. Sort
of.
We have had in depth discussions about the raising
of our children and what religion to teach them and
we have decided that we will teach them both in a
very objective manner and let them decide when they
are old enough what they want to do. We will
celebrate and recognize all holidays and read from
the BIble and Guru Granth Sahib (did I spell that
right?). In learning about Sikhism myself I have
have been shown dimensions of God that I had not seen
before and I think that learning about God through
the viewpoint of two different truths only makes him
more real. I could go on and on about this subject
but I don't want to monopolize the board too much. I
will leave you with one last analogy on the matter
however: When I first met God it was like finding a
pair of glasses. I really didn't know that I had
poor vision until I saw how much clearer things were
through a pair of God given bi-focals. Well,
learning about God from a Sikh perspective is kind of
like putting a pair of 3-D glasses on over my other
glasses, just as clear but more real.
Now Diesel, about your situation, I would love to
help you but I need more information. I don't quite
understand. What do you mean by leaving your family
forever? Has your love asked you to not see your
family? I would love it if I could be with my girl
and her family. That would be a dream that only God
can fulfill. Did you mean when you told her that you
would leave her someday that you would leave to go be
with your family? Does your family know of her? I
am confused. Does her family like you?
Thank You and God Bless YOU,
Ken
P.S.- Go Colts!!!!!!!
| By Angry Black Man on Sunday, January 16, 2000 - 09:15 pm: |
Will somebody please answer some questions I have about Indian. I am a black man who had been going out with an Indian girl from Guyana for a long time in High School. It was kept a secret from her family but a lot of our friends knew. Now all of a sudden she is getting married to some Indian guy that she doesn't even know to well that her family picked for her. I knew that I would never be accepted by her family and so did she but I always had hope. Why can't they accept me? Just because I am not Indian. Because I am Black? Why were we lovers for so long and while we were lovers she was fixed up and engaged to this guy? She is saying that she has to think about her future, About her family, about her religion, etc. etc. Are blacks not good enough for Indians? I was good enough then, why not now? The other thing is that she has not invited any of the black friends we had in school to her wedding. We are not even good enough for that. Is it a big shame to have blacks at a wedding? Will we polute the food or bring bad look or is it that we are not good enough? Why do Indians think they are better than blacks? So many are blacker than some of us are. We are good enough to be lovers but not good enough to be husbands?
| By Diesel on Monday, January 17, 2000 - 02:51 am: |
Ken I would like to talk to you besides the discussion group as well.
you can email me at diesel2x@aol.com
You are one of the few people I can relate to as I am in the same situation
Diesel
| By Ken on Monday, January 17, 2000 - 11:27 am: |
Diesel,
How are you doing? I would like to communicate
with you via e-mail as well but I am a little bit
scared. I am sure that you can understand that I
must know that I can have full trust in you. For all
I know you could be someone who is trying to "catch"
one of his fellow Sikhs doing something wrong. It is
not that I don't trust you but I need to take all
necessary precautions. My real name is not Ken and I
am worried that my e-mail address might be
traceable. Are they traceable? I am not sure. I
mean, for all I know you live down the street from
me. Maybe you are engaged to my fiance right now.
Maybe you are the other guy. That would actually be
kind of funny. You could even by my fiance's
father!! Anyway, if you, or anyone can answer my
question about the traceability of e-mail addresses
then please let me know. I will wait for a response
before I e-mail you. Please don't be angry or
upset. For all that you know I am trying to get you
into trouble somehow (I promise that I am not
though!!). You are an answer to my prayers and I
don't want to lose you as a confidante. Please try
and understand. I need to talk to you!!
thank You,
Ken
| By sadiya on Monday, January 17, 2000 - 12:24 pm: |
ken just go to hotmail and create a hotmail account where you can make all your details anything you would like .... name and address and stuff doesn't have to be your own personal details, so you don't have to worry about you being traced!!
http://www.hotmail.com
| By Ken on Monday, January 17, 2000 - 09:20 pm: |
Sadiya,
Thank you so much for your reply!! You are so fast
too! I will take your advice.
Sincerely,
Ken
| By ghatak on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 07:53 am: |
Ken,
Anything on the web is tracable, even when you just open this page or any other page. Just by looking at the ip address on the email, people can track you down real fast. It doesn't matter what name you use. People just need to know to know how.
| By Ken on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 10:41 am: |
Ghatak,
How can someone trace you down if you are using a
fake name and address unless they literally tap your
phome line or have access to a supercomputer?
Anyway, I am willing to take that chance and try
anyway but my browser doesn't seem to support
hotmail. I am using AT&T Worldnet through a Sega
Dreamcast. Thank you for the warning though. I think
that I upset Diesel. He hasn't written anything in a
couple of days. Maybe my suspicions were right and
he is her dad!! Maybe he doesn't trust ME now. I'm
sorry Diesel. Talk to me please.
Ken
| By Ken on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 11:27 am: |
Dear Angry Black Man,
Even though you would probably prefer a response
from an Indian I am going to have to answer your
questions as best as I can anyway. I feel bad every
time that I scroll by and no one has responded to
you. First though I have a question, maybe a few
actually. Did you plan on marrying this girl
someday? It would not be much of a stretch for me to
say that many Indian families are controlling. She
probably has very little to say in the matter of her
impending marriage. I suppose that if she loved you
and was committed to you for life that she would run
away with you as my fiance is planning to do with
me. I hope you won't think it to harsh if I question
the strength of your bond together. Yes, sacrifices
would have to be made but if you two really love each
other over anything else then you will make it work.
Another possible explanation is that maybe she
matured away from you. She is and was awful young.
(I really can't judge though, my bride to be is very
young herself- I hope that she doesn't get too mature
for ME!!). I don't buy that excuse that she has to
think of her family etc.. Her family and culture
would force her to marry someone else, not you!! You
didn't tell her that she would have to leave her
family or her religion. You are/were her future.
That bogus excuse on her part makes me mad!! I must
say though that it isn't entirely her fault for
this. The Indian culture is thousands of years old.
Traditions and customs define it. The problem is
that we don't live in India!! (I assume that you
aren't from India) I am sure that your race is not
the issue at all. The two of you have been together
for years and if your race were an issue then she
would not of been with you in the first place. I
kind of understand why it would be awkward for her to
have your black friends attend the wedding. Indian
weddings are very sacred and steeped in tradition.
She probably is just worried that your friends would
not understand and that they would think it was
weird. She has had a seperate life for years, her
life with you in the "world" and her life at home
with her family. I completely understand this
concept. Even though she thought about you always
she had to gaurd her thoughts at home. My girl does
the same thing now. Your girl, seemingly, has picked
one world over another. You must convince her that
she belongs with you. Either run away and hide or
confront her parents. It is not easy but you will
know inside of you if it is the right thing to do.
She is happy when she is with you. Marrying this
other guy will mean never seeing you again!! There
is always a chance that her family will accept you
someday. (I am counting on that for my situation!) I
wish you all the best. God bless you.
Ken
| By Paaji on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 - 01:44 pm: |
About the Indian Flag.... The Jains said the whiite of the Indian flag was theirs... the Hindus claimed the saffron and the Muslim the green....
They looked quizically at the Sardar and asked him what is HIS contribution to the Indian flag??
"Danda twade pyo da he".... said the sardar!!!
| By Jat Punjabi on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 12:09 am: |
Paaji,
That's sick man. If you really look at Sikh contribution, all three color would represent Sikh contribution to India, i.e., White for peace, Saffron for sacrifice, and green for green revolution. Of course Sikhs have had to use danda to deal with idiots like you.
Rab Rakha
| By Diesel on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 12:14 am: |
hey Ken,
thats funny that you think I am upset. that is not the case. I am just busy with work, so I could not write. i am in the same situation as you man, maybe worse as I have pressure from both sides, in terms of her and my family. I love her to death, at the same time it would really hurt me to see my mom suffer so much. You are the only person I can relate to as you are almost in the same boat as me. Pleae do trust me, and by the way Hotmail is not traceable ok?
Take care and email me
| By Suman on Friday, January 21, 2000 - 09:00 pm: |
What is more important, Love or Religion?
I vote for love because in this century, religious fanaticism is less prevalent than in the last one. Besides, we are not going anywhere with religion but love. I respect all religion but sometimes find it hard to understand the fanaticism associated with some religion. Lets rise above this and live life to the limit.
Peace & Love.
| By Jat Punjabi on Friday, January 21, 2000 - 11:41 pm: |
Hi Suman,
Religion and love both go side by side to keep us going. But, I don't know why someone would have to give up his/her religion for love. People, who really love someone, don't force their loved ones to change their religion for love. If they can fall in love with them when they followed other religion, why can't they stay in love while following different religions? In my opinion, it's blackmailing and selfishness when people force their loved ones to change their religion and weak people lose.
Take care
| By Leena on Monday, January 24, 2000 - 07:54 pm: |
Hi all,
Just a brief update, I know it's been a while since I posted...the first inevitable fly in the ointment...my parents have two issues: (1) no question about marriage of any kind until I'm graduated and established, and (2) they can't support my marriage to Carlos for several reasons, the greatest of which is the difference of religion.
My inital reaction was to get frustrated - they have been understanding about the entire "situation," also in making sure that they explain their point of view (I don't think it occurred to them to really seek out mine - they feel as parents, they are wiser, so anything I feel is mistaken, misguided...in other words I need to look to them for all my decisions!)
Right now, I'm still bitterly angry with myself for saying "I always have listened to what you have to say, and haven't ever gone against it" - which they're taking to mean that I've fallen in with their "wise" judgement. I said this in spite of the fact that they've said repeatedly (1) they would support me in any decision I chose, and (2) given all the options, they would (as parents) support my choice and do everything they can to make it work.
I suppose I got frustrated and said what I did because I want them to accept my choice not because it's my choice, but because they can appreciate and understand it, as I do. I've come to realize over the many conversations we've had in the last few weeks that I can understand and appreciate their point of view, but they simply cannot understand mine. Not that they don't *want* to, they simply can't. They haven't grown up in both cultures, like I have; so there's no way they can see more than one side of the issue.
I've given it some thought (and myself a bit of time to cool down)...I love my parents and want them to understand, but I don't think it's possible to have them understand and accept - at least not in the context that they're perceiving our relationship. They like Carlos, but how can they appreciate him as I do, if they evaluate his suit like they would another arranged marriage proposal? (Aside: I actually found that a bit amusing.) They aren't willing to meet him or his family as anything other than a friend, because that would convey acceptance of the relationship. I also realize that they would be extremely hurt if they truly understand what my take on life is - they have the mistaken notion that my thinking is pretty much in line with theirs, simply because I can understand and empathize with their (traditional Indian) point of view. I think that other (less traditional Indian) aspects of my personality/character would confound them ("Where did we go wrong, did we not raise her with our values...")...I can't help what I am. I *have* been raised with their values, and I've also been raised in a different environment. I feel like I've taken the best of both and become what I am. Ultimately, they still love me, so they accept me. Even if I am a big surprise and mystery at times! :)
So I will be firm and state "this is my choice; if I feel the same way in a couple years, after I've graduated, then please support me in my choice." I completely agree with their POV on finishing my education before making any truly serious wedding plans. (We weren't planning on doing the deed anytime soon, anyway!) It's a matter of priorities, and both Carlos and I need to focus a bit more on ourselves than us, in order to make us work in the future.
Any thoughts? I hope I'm posting to the right board, I haven't checked back to see where I've posted this thread before...
Leena
| By Anonymous on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 05:39 am: |
Leena
..just curious.How old are you?If that is too personal a question Iam sorry.
If you are over 21 I think you should stand by your decision.Or else give it some time.What do you think?
| By Ken on Saturday, January 29, 2000 - 10:41 pm: |
Dear Leena,
Your perspective on life and your situation is very
helpful to me. My fiance and I are in a similar
situation except for that she has not told her
parents at all about our relationship or even of my
existence. She is afraid that the consequences would
be too great if she told them. We plan on waiting
until at least her schooling is complete before we
get married. It would be nice if I had my degree
too but I am not able to go to school full time right
now because of my work.
Thank You,
Ken
| By Ken on Saturday, January 29, 2000 - 11:00 pm: |
Diesel,
I have been very busy lately. Sorry for not
writing sooner. My fiance didn't believe that you
were for real at first. She didn't think that you
were really a Sardar. It was very interesting to
watch her read your letters and become angry with you
because you are "defying" your heritage. At first
her reaction was to say that if you were a true Sikh
you wouldn't be with your girl in the first place.
She then realized that this was hipocritical and then
I think that she became upset at herself. I did not
ask because I did not want to upset her but I could
tell by the expression on her face. She actually
would like to write to you sometime and ask you some
questions. I don't really know what questions
though. The issue about disappointing your parents
is actually fairly common. I mean, if they truly
love you they will accept you no matter what. As
long as you feel peace between you and God about
everything that is all that counts. If my girl's
parents disown her is it her fault? (NO!!) If your
parents really cared about you they would want you to
be happy no matter what.
Ken
| By Diesel on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 10:47 am: |
Ken,
Finally you are back. I was worried man. Buddy you can email me at Diesel2x@aol.com ok?
I can relate to you man
Diesel
| By jewluvhindu on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 02:00 pm: |
Can someone please help me!!
I am a Jewish male - and I have fallen in love with an Indian girl - she has fallen in love with me - she is Hindu - our parents are both highly against marrying outside our culture - in fact they will probably disown both of us if we continue this relationship... I love her so much and I know she is loving me too... but I don't want our families to disown us...
| By Savraj on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 11:02 pm: |
hello everybody
I have not been able to come here for a while so I just updated myself. I am concerened with Ken's story. Lying about or hiding a relationship can be very hurtful to the people who are very close to you.
Ken your girlfriend maybe puting her mother in big trouble by runing away. I have seen this happen in India and in the U.S. Most of the times the family put all the responsiblity of daughter's action on the mother because she is the one who is suppose to tell her right from wrong. Did she think about the risk she would be puting her mother in.
If she has younger sisters, the family might make their lives hell. I know of a case where the oldest daughter ran away. The younger ones were punished for it. The youngers girls were not allowed to go to college and were married off as soon as they turned 17.
| By Savraj on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 11:04 pm: |
I forgot to add the person she is engaged to. She is punishing an innocent person with her actions. Why does not she make some excuse and break it off because the longer she keeps the engagement the worst it will be for that guy.
| By Jat Punjabi on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 11:47 pm: |
Savraj,
That was a good post. I shall return for more. Right now, gotta work.
| By Jat Punjabi on Tuesday, February 01, 2000 - 03:56 am: |
Ken, you and your girlfriend appear to be a weird situation or should I say you guys are weird?
You said,"I am going to "follow" them and continue to see her secretly until the time is closer to her arranged marriage. We will leave then."
If you really want to do what you believe in and have any guts to do it, do it without deceiving anyone. She is probably going to school on her parents' expense and then she is going to run away. She should have told her parents when they arranged her to marry someone else.
She is probably the first person I have ever seen in my life who has two fiancées. This just shows selfishness on your part and her part. Why the heck does she want to keep someone hanging when she really isn't going to marry him? Don't you think he might say 'NO' to someone else if he gets another offer and might miss out on an opportunity to marry someone good. Your girlfriend should not marry the other guy, especially if you guys have been intimate, but she must make it clear to everyone and then face the consequences whatever they might be.
You guys are too selfish and you should live in your own little selfish world. I see your girlfriend being selfish because she doesn't actually care at all about her family. I see you being selfish because you are not trying to convince her to talk to her family.
By running away with you, she might not necessarily be making the wisest decision of her life. What happens when you are faced with your differences later in your life. Let's say the worst happens and somehow you end up being separated. Who is she gonna run to then? How can you be so sure that you are going to be there for rest of her life?
This stuff about her parents tracking her down and trying to kill her is non-sense. First of all, I have not seen any Sikh family in the US doing that. Also, if you are afraid that they can track her down and kill if you run away now, why do you think they couldn't do it later?
| By Susan on Tuesday, February 01, 2000 - 08:54 am: |
Jewluvhindu,
You and the woman you love must decide how much your relationship is worth. Is it worth sacrificing all others? Is it worth never seeing your family again?
If the answer is yes, then by all means, move forward with your relationship. You can still try to persuade your families that this relationship is right and hope that they come around one day. But you should be prepared to live your lives together as if that will not happen.
If you feel it's not worth it, then probably best to cut things off now and save heart break in the end.
Keep reading the message boards too for solutions from others in similar situations. I just know that my fiance' (Indian man) and I (white American woman) decided that we wouldn't let any family objections keep us apart. We are very fortunate in that we were never forced to that decision, but we each knew that we put our love and relationship first.
Best of luck to you both.
| By Savraj on Tuesday, February 01, 2000 - 06:34 pm: |
JP
I could not have said better myself.
The worst part of this story is that she is using her parents to get an education and deceving them at the same time. Why would they pay for her when she is being selfish. If she had the courage to fall in love then why dosen't she have the courage to tell the truth.
| By Leena on Thursday, February 03, 2000 - 01:22 am: |
Hi all,
Someone asked me a while back how old I am, saying that if I'm over 21, I should stand by my decision. Not that my age is relevant; however I won't use that kind of reasoning to justify my choice to my parents. Sure, I could decide to say "I'm 21, I can do what I want" when I turn 21, but I hope to include my parents in my life, not exclude them. It doesn't matter what kind of decision I make in life, big or small - my family is a part of it all (just as I am there for them).
Ken, hang in there! I've found (just as others have said) that the disowning, "we will never talk to you again" type parents only exist in the movies. It's best if you and your fiance can talk to her parents, as soon as possible. Yes, my parents were very upset when they found out my plans...but what upset them the most was they thought I'd left them out of one of the biggest decisions of my life! I reassured them that there would be no decision, if I didn't have their blessing. They are concerned about the ramifications of my decision, but they stressed to me that it is ultimately *my* decision, and they will support me in my decisions. They always have before, no reason for me to doubt them in this!
I hope your fiance has the same kind of relationship with her parents. If so, you and she might want to think about talking to them - her first, then you. They may be shocked, even grieved that she's not being traditional, but they won't feel that they've been left in the dark.
All the best!
| By jewluvhindu on Saturday, February 05, 2000 - 07:51 am: |
i love my girlfriend (who is Hindu and I am Jewish) so much - madly in love with her - she is madly in love with me too - in all honesty I am wanting to be with her and will sacrifice my family if I have to. I wnat to be with her for ever, and I know she feels the same way... but she does not want to just flee from her family in case they do something to her or me.
| By Susan on Saturday, February 05, 2000 - 08:58 am: |
Jewluvhindu,
I don't know what to tell you. It's hard enough to think of purposefully severing your relationship with your family, much less running from them and being in fear of them coming after you.
Can I ask where you live? Where does your g/f live? (Just a broad answer is fine - please don't get too specific.) Is there anyone there who can help you be safe while the two of you talk in more depth with your families?
I am praying hard for you both and hope that things will turn out for the best.
| By jewluvhindu on Saturday, February 05, 2000 - 01:10 pm: |
Susan,
thank you for your prayers - where i live there is not a large Jewish or Indian community - so pretty much everyone in these communities knows who we are and what they think is happening - both families (mine is terrible) and they have always wanted us to marry THEIR choice of partners but we are both wanting to marry and spend rest of our lives together. What we are planning to do is flee to Australia or USA where we are not known - we so much want to be with each other we are both willing to give up our families - but that will be hard - we have spoken to them but they just point black refuse but they know that we meet each other and ... well they know that something is going to happen that is why we want to get out of this country and go where we can be happy.
Thanks
| By Susan on Tuesday, February 08, 2000 - 08:30 am: |
Jewluvhindu -
So, you are in India then? I am at a loss on where to tell you to go and how to go about doing that. Maybe someone else who's been through that can help in that area.
I will always keep you two in my thoughts and prayers and please try to keep us posted here as to how things are going in your lives, ok?
Love will find a way.
| By SHUBHRO on Sunday, February 13, 2000 - 09:34 pm: |
hi there everybody
i am an student doing my post graduate diploma in business management from management development institute , gurgaon . like every other indian i too am proud of its diversity that my nation has . one of the most important pillars that our nation is built upon is secularism . ever since i have grasped the meaning of this term i had wanted to find out that whether secularism is just there for the constitution or we as people of this country actually practice it . what i believe is that our attitudes towards an inter-religious marriage is the ultimate test of secularism . as a part of my curriculum i have chosen to conduct a research on the "effect of demographic variables on attitude towards inter-religious marriges " .
i intend to carry out the research in delhi and gurgaon . i really hope that the research will throw light on what is the most important factor deciding our attitudes towards this topic .......whether it is education level , age , income level , family background or anything else . i hope to finish off this research within 1 and a half months following which i would love to share my results .
i came across the site via an search engine , your comments and problems have enabled me understand this topic in more better manner . do tell me what r your views about the research and how all can i make improvements in it.
thanks a lot and a very happy valentines day to u all . hope this day brings about amongst us a deeper understanding of each others sentiments
bye............ would be waiting for your comments
| By waiting on Thursday, February 17, 2000 - 12:45 pm: |
Someone out there ?
| By Joseph on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 03:05 am: |
Hi Shubhro,
It is pleasent to see someone doing thesis on inter-racial marriages, even as a student of business management!
As you must know, in any hypothesis or research, the mission statement dictates the study. Demographic variables.... in your title makes me believe that your study will be limited to observing people from different region, and how they perceive inter-racial marriages. This will surely give you interesting findings on how people from metropolitan area like delhi think different than from people rom gurgaon.
I personally think that the most obvious factor in dogmatic thinking and resistence to inter-religious marriage is "religion". Education level, and other materialistic considerations are important, but secondary. The resitance to such marriage is mostly due to everything surrounding religion.
Coming back to demographic variables, if you plan your questionaire thoughtfully to cover population representing most of the religions (equal number of candidates), degree of religiousness, education of these people, interaction of these people with different religion... so on and so on will give you a good picture of relation between region and behavior of these people of that region on inter-religious mariages. What do you think?
Just a suggestion, if you start a study with your mission statement : "factors that contribute towards intolerance of inter-religious marriage", you may able cover other aspects (like religion, caste tec) besides demographics. What do you think?
| By SHUBHRO on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 08:38 pm: |
Thanks a lot of Joseph,
i know that there may be other variables that affect a person attitude towards inter-religious marriages but we are sticking to these variables because most of them are quantifiable . frankly speaking this is the first research project we are handling so we will not be able do justice to qualitative data . and actually the definition of demographic variables includes a lot of things like age , income , religion, place of origin ,education, social class etc. while it may not be possible for us to focus on all the aspects within our deadline for submitting the project,we surely would be looking into 4 to 5 factors atleast . the only problem we can forsee facing is actually getting samples of different religions . any suggestions as to how to overcome that.?? do keep your suggestions flowing ....... gives us a lot of encouragement
bye
| By Diesel on Wednesday, February 23, 2000 - 12:30 am: |
KEN,
Where are you?
Email me
| By Joseph on Wednesday, February 23, 2000 - 11:53 pm: |
Hi Shubhro,
Regarding your question on how to reach targeted audience successfully.
Given the sensitivity (religion and marriage) of the subject, it is possible that you may be most successful if the questionaire be answered anaonymously. And to do that, either you mail out with return envelope provided or distribute through an organization in that raligion and let them distribute and collect anonymously. To cover christian religion for example, contact the church and ask for their help in the process.
Again, I am talking about India as I left 20 odd years ago, and probably things are different now. But in any case, you will have answers more towards truth when people are given the confidentiality while being surveyed.
Gallop polls or surveys by J.D. Powers and associates conducted in the states are based on the numbers of variables or factors thought to be influential in the outcome. And it is either conducted on phone or by filling out set of questions. In some cases, some kind of reward is given to meet minimum required percentage of the population.
In a scientific study, usually it is conducted at a fixed place (say at the uni.)and people participate either in exchange of treatment or money.
And please do not forget to let us know about the findings of your study :-). Good luck.
| By SHUBHRO on Sunday, March 05, 2000 - 08:57 pm: |
Hi Joseph and everybody out there
Was busy with acads for the last few days and for that reason wasnt able to update myself on the messages on the site. We had already started collecting the responses to a questionnaire we had designed. Actually i had thought of the options u had mentioned before conducting the survey .A telephonic survey had to be discounted out as the questionnaire is pretty comprehensive one. We had designed a attitude score scale with the help of a 5 point Liekrt Scale which contains a set of 18 statements + an qualitative section . We cannot mail it as we have our deadline is staring down on us . So we have to go the direct way, I understand that it may lead to some respondents not answering truthfully, but we r trying to discount that by promising full confidentiality. At the same time i am trying to have the entire questionnaire posted on the net . I am not sure how much i would able to be successful in that. Lets see how that entire report shapes up in the next few days
Anybody who wants to give his views on the survey i am conducting ( effect of demographic variables on attitude of people towards INTER-RELIGIOUS marriages ) can e mail me at the following address shubhro7@hotmail.com
thanks a lot :do let your suggestions coming
| By king on Thursday, March 16, 2000 - 01:47 am: |
how does wedding ceremony work if two people are from different relegion, example the girl is prorestent and guy
| By Jo on Friday, March 17, 2000 - 01:33 pm: |
Hi,
I was wondering if you had any info on arranged marriages for my core RE work.
| By DKhan on Tuesday, March 28, 2000 - 09:53 pm: |
Can anyone help me by answering some questions on
Muslim divorce and custody laws? These are for some-
one who is Pakistan and their family still lives there. They divorced their wife in 1985 in/near
Lahore, Pakistan. They had 4 children, 3 girls and
one boy. The ex-wife continued to live in their home
that they shared when they were married. When this
man would go back home to visit the family he would
stay in this home along with his ex-wife. The children have stayed with her until they were grown.
Supposedly there was another child born to them in
1985 at the time of their divorce. Although in their
"divorce papers" it states that the wife was not
pregnant at that time. Was or is this man truly
divorced from his Pakistani wife? Is there any way
that I could find out the truth? If there is a way
to find out would/could someone please direct me in
the right direction. Thank you very much for your
assistance in this matter.
| By Farhiya on Saturday, May 13, 2000 - 12:03 pm: |
Dear Angry Black Man,
hi there. i hope you still read these things even though no one has answered you yet.
i am in the same situation you are in. the only difference is that even though my fiancee is a hindu, he has informed his mother and siblings of our intentions, and that he loves me. Of course, his mother doesnt like the idea, but he is totally committed to me and our relationship and even though, we are trying our best to pacify his mother as well as my father, in the end we know that our relationship is what matters most. We love our families, but we love each other more.
Like your case, his mother doesnt like me coz i am african black and on top of that, a muslim. i have respect for her, and whenever possible, i do go out of my way to please her coz pleasing her for me equals to pleasing my fiancee. i am not really angry at her for how she feels, for my own father feels the same about my fiancee. we know what is important is being honest with each other, and communicating everything, and that is what we do.
why i am telling you all this is that maybe you will realize, as it seems from your message, that your girlfreind really wasnt committed to you or your relationship at all. maybe she didnt love you enough to stand her ground. maybe, she just thought she loved you, and later on when push came to shove, she realized that she didnt love you enough. look, i think everyone deserves honesty. but honestly starts with yourself. sit down and examine what you think of her actions. what would you have done if you were in her shoes?. if you make excuses for her, you will never know the truth, nor will you ever go on with your life, and find someone that is trully worthy of you.
it took me about 2 years before i even agreed to letting us address ourselves officially as girl/boy freind. the reason for this is that i was always told that indians were very against blacks. Therefore, i never wanted to be more than freinds with him until i was very sure that he was true in his love for me, and that if i was going to take my time and effort in making this the relationship i wanted, he was serious enought to stand the heat and fight. And gladly, that is all he wants....to be with me. For us, everything else is secondary, no matter how important or curcial.
Pls, take out some time to reflect on yourself, your relationship and your girlfriend. and pls never ever be put down by those who dont agree with you... remember, this is life, and there is such a thing as freedom of speach...!
All i say is, just be true to yourself....and if your girlfreind loves you, she will not only love you for that, but also respect you for it. And once that is done, you two as a couple who love each other can handle and withstand a lot....including families, and religions.....
i wish you luck!...and pls let me know what happens....
until then,
Ciao!
| By Editor on Wednesday, May 17, 2000 - 07:40 pm: |
We have created a special page for Hate mongers and people abusing our pages with their fantasies and mental garbage.
Hindu Muslim Marriages - Fake Messages by Hate mongers
| By intheusa on Friday, May 19, 2000 - 12:19 pm: |
Has anyone been to a Sikh-Christian wedding where they combined the two faiths into one ceremony? I could use a few ideas for planning my wedding!
| By Diesel on Sunday, May 21, 2000 - 11:12 pm: |
intheusa
I am in the same boat. I have to shave for it though. Please tell me about your situation. I am commited to her,I would do anything. What is a good way to break the news to my parents that I have shaved. Please let me know
Diesel
| By King on Sunday, May 21, 2000 - 11:35 pm: |
I am a sikh What is a good way to break the news to my parents that I have shaved. Please let me know
i wann be with her
| By t&a on Tuesday, June 20, 2000 - 12:19 am: |
Show them your face dummy.
| By a UK SIKH on Saturday, June 24, 2000 - 12:01 am: |
I have lived in the UK for all my life and i think HINDU girls are the biggest sluts and so are chinks.
| By anon on Saturday, June 24, 2000 - 12:14 am: |
Hey dude, your best friends are Hindus whether you like it or not because the muslim kafirs will cut your throat if given the chance. Hence dont bite the hand that feeds you, dumb ••••.
| By desperate on Friday, July 07, 2000 - 05:01 pm: |
hi all, i would like to know the procedure regarding the inter-caste marriage in india and how to go about it. i am a muslim and plan to marry a hindu girl without the knowledge of the families. please advice as the position is desperate and our respective parents are trying to get us married.
| By Anonymous on Friday, July 07, 2000 - 06:13 pm: |
Hi desperate
Get married in the court . There are provisions in the Indian Penal System were two consenting adults can marry irrespective of their parents objections.But be very carefull about the vengeful parents (Both yours and hers). And as always the society (read the "Protectors of the respective faith") will try to make your life miserable.The link below contains such a story .
http://www2.hindustantimes.com/ht/nonfram/110100/detcit10.htm.
And by the way I am not trying to dissuade you.Just be careful Are you an Indian ? All the best .
Regards
Anon
| By Mohammed on Monday, August 14, 2000 - 07:04 am: |
I am a very happy and humble man!!! My life is so full of purpose. I am from New Zealand, and had been following Islam for a couple of years, learning a lot from my friends who were Muslim, and learning from some books I had received from the local Islamic centre, and to which I felt in my heart that I want to become a Muslim. I have converted now to Islam, and I have never been happier. I am getting married within 2~3 months to a beautiful Indian Muslim girl from Fiji.