| By Raj on Sunday, February 25, 2001 - 12:52 am: |
What does life mean to you? Life is a rare and precious gift. We all tend to take it for granted. Rather than stop to appreciate what a miracle it is, we dwell on our problems, our resentments and our fears. We think about the future, we think about the past, and we forget what an incredible present we have. The present is the only time we really have - and the present always is a present - provided we make an effort to see it as such. Nobody else seems to care as much as you do about quality, integrity, and duty. You can build a boat, learn to sail, assemble a crew, study navigation and equip yourself with every possible aid to successful life on the ocean wave. What you can't do though is control the actual movement of those waves. If you become becalmed, you can't whip a wind. If you encounter a storm, you can't still the sea. There's a lot you can take responsibility for, but there's one chaotic factor that you must adapt to - and that you cannot foresee. Cover the bases you can cover. Be sensitive enough, though, to recognise when to push ahead and when to hold wisely back.
| By Confused about my relationship on Friday, May 04, 2001 - 05:05 pm: |
here's some things about my relationship with my girlfriend: She was the first girl i've ever had sex with and i'm 26 now. the first time i've had sex was on march 21st of this year, isn't this odd for a guy to wait so long? she's had 3 years experience with the same guy - her ex-boyfriend who is white. i believe that she hasn't had sex with any others, and this is what she claims. of course, one can't be so sure.
today, at her apartment, she told me that she'd "like for me to sew my wild oats" - another words, have affairs with other girls. this is so that i won't cheat on her later on because she thinks that i'll have regrets later on for not having had as much sexual experience as her. i told her that i wasn't raised like that. i can't comprehend why a girl would be like this?
also, one day, we went out to some cultural show, and we met up with some of her guy friends. one of these guys "who is like a brother to" pinched her butt
(he has a g'friend who wasn't there), and the other guy asked her to sit on his lap. i got furious at home, and she can't understand why! i felt that this was an insult to *me*, becasue those 2 guys believe that i'm not man enough to take up for my gal. that's why they are diong all this. my g'friend couldn't understand at all why i'm so upset about the first guy pinching her butt. i told her that he would not allow me to pinch his girlfriend's butt, and this isn't right. also, i saw my girlfriend pat him on his butt as he walked by. am i so old-fashioned?
i do feel that she's emotionally burned out to ahve another boyfriend, and that i've inherited a ghost from her ex-boyfriend. also, because she's in medical school, she can't give so much attention and be so thoughtful towards me at times. i mean, the world of sex is something brand-new to me. sex is old news to her, and she's experienced this many different ways, i'm sure, and i can't introduce to her anything new from this. she claims that she's still guarded. i don't know - what do you think?
on the other hand, there are very reassuring signs: she's even introduced me to her parents (and that's a very re-assuring sign - given that we're both american born kids and our parents are from india). they like me a lot, and my g'friend claims that she "loves" me.
her family is lower-middle class , where as mine are cultured and upper-middle class. she's very smart, however. she's in medical school. i think her upbringing is to blame on why she's so... "rough" or "uncouth" or "uncultured."
what are the chances of my girlfriend and her ex reconciling again? i've seen it happen before to a girl who first dated a guy in 8th grade, and then again in 11th. But in the case of my g'friend, it's a little different: she's now 24. my girlfriend hasn't dated him since 3 years ago, also. in both cases, the boy broke up with the girl.
last night, i noticed that she was getting moody on me, because i told her that i was leaving and not spending the night. she "joked" with me in ways i didn't care for. for example, she joked that i had a short penis. keep in mind, that i *never* joke about her body. i give her body the greatest compliments. she said things that she knows will bring a reaction on my part. for example, she said "we're so different. i don't know how this is going to work out."
when we spend the night with one another, she claims that: (1) she never sleeps around me, and (2) she never studies well around me. this is one of the reasons i left her last night. i can't understand why she complains about anything if she doesn't mind me coming over sometimes.
finally, we are astrologically incompatible: i'm pisces and she's aries. should this be an issue?
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