| By Rayna on Thursday, May 20, 1999 - 12:27 am: |
Thank you thank you***bows****giggles****
i am beginning to like all your company.
| By indianpotato on Thursday, May 20, 1999 - 08:13 pm: |
wow!
Sincerely thank you for the extended version of the story! the poetry also of both Princess and yours! I really appreciate :-)
| By pk on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 03:27 am: |
Dearest friends
Thanks for your kindest suggestions.
I am sorry to report you late. Love is one of the most important and singular FEELING and one of the most ignored by human beings in general.
I am not expert on Non-human Living beings but i am sure even little rug-bugs have heart. Having a heart with compassion is a plus. Compassion and knowing ourselves better can make aware ourselves of our greatest asset which is LOVE.
Yet dont you find that all of our man [or woman , ei irrespective of gender] made calamities, crisis and misery in this world are there for not knowing our deposit of love and its power.
Anyway i have to breathe and with heavy heart i had to do something. On wednesdays the landscaping guy - a Japanese man - comes with few Mexican gardeners and they run their mowers and blowers. I talked to him and he said burying near a residence is not a good idea nor birds should be buried. Well he is quite a sensitive guy and i trust him. He wrapped it in a newspaper and put it in the cut grass and disposed.
Yesterday the other crow was not there anymore.
Today early morning however, i did see one of these birds hovering over my house with non-stop cries for atleast 2 hours. While I tried to call it, put grains but it didnt come down nor calmed.
After a while i couldnot believe what i saw.
About 4 crow birds came and sat around this bird and after a while they flew all five together and i kept watching them till they disappeared....
I guess they felt that the dead bird had gone forever.
I can tell you that all living beings, birds and animals are very loving and compassionate beings. I do have allergy with cats but despite that i dont scare them.
I even believe that little bugs, ants and fish also have love and compassion but their scales are different.
Yesterday i was reading some stuff on Islamic and Jewish prohibition of pork eating. [well Luckily i am vegetarian anyway]. One person wrote they didnt eat because it caused worm infection, the other said that it's because they live in litter and garbage. Well another view was that because porkies are 'immoral' [see humans have strong judgements on all issues even including the animals].
As per this person, the male pork after mating and making love invites other pigs to make love with her. Now this is very scandalous statement and i was shocked to ready this. I dont know that much about the private lives of poor porkies who are eventually eaten up by people with so much pleasure.
But then every specie has its own standards.
If you had seen the great French Marine scientist Jacques Cousteau's ocean tele serials; you would remember that certain type of fish and marine species organise very massive orgies. After the mating, dating, love and wild orgy for several days and nights, they all die. I dont know if that is mass suicide or they overdo. You better get Cousteau's books or videos.
Another specie is even more exotic. This kind of shrimp like fish, after mating, the female eats the male fish.
This is the height of passionate love.
But i guess these are exceptions and i hope humans do not follow this particular specie. [i hope some feminists are not reading this ultra secret modus for their next revolution]. Insha Allah! Jesus Christ ! Hare Krishna!
So friends this world is very colorful but the essence of love and compassion is the proof of life energy flowing in all beings similarly.
PS: Naradji : Your suggestion is very good indeed.
I think marrying a bird will be one of the most exotic ideas however i will have to find one specie which is faithful and loyal.
The advantages of marrying a bird can be enormous.
If we ever fight i tell her to go the cage and eat some grains or have a green chili, meanwhile i do some work. Since the mating with other specie is not possible we will adapt another little birdie and live a happy married life..
| By Princess on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 05:59 am: |
PK,
I'm gald there was a resolution to your situation. I can tell you one thing that animals are indeed very compassionate and loving and their love is unconditional. You totally get what you put in and more. I never even knew I liked cats. I got a week old homeless kitten last year as a gift for my birthday. I was petrified of it and didn't know what to do with it. Well after a lot of work on it and a lot of sleepless nights (I had to feed it by hand and it slept with me constantly when it was young) he is now a big beautiful kitten and his love for me is so touching. I'm his mommy and he follows me around. He wakes me up each morning and sleeps next to me at night. He comes running when I come home or when I call him. He talks to me when I don't see him all day. It's wonderful and he's part of my family now. I wouldn't give him or his love for me up for anything in this world. My world changed since I got him and what he does for my soul is priceless. Just my thoughts :-)
| By Sincerely... on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 06:12 am: |
Hi Indianpotato,
Thank you! :o)
**************************************************
Hi pk,
Thank you for the update. I'm glad the bird had others to comfort him/her in the grief. :o)
I think your post puts it spendidly, what more can I say? Compassion is very important. I don't believe true love of any type exsists without it.
You can say you love your wife/husband yet beat them. You can have pets yet ignore them and some will say they still love them. Not true in my opinion. Without compassion there is no love. The word (love) can be very deceitful. It's the acts to show it that lets you know if it is a true love or a false one.
Take Care,
Sincerely...
| By Sincerely... on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 06:35 am: |
Princess,
Your my kind of girl! Anyone that's put in the intense work of raising an infant animal has got my respect. I did that with my last cat, "Casbah". He was orphaned because he came out feet first instead of head first. I tore the sack and cut the cord. He was the love of my life. He's in the heavens now. :o) You won't be sorry! Your kitty will bring you much joy & love as most orphans do! :o)
Take Care,
Sincerely...
| By Princess on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 09:43 am: |
Thank you Sincerely...
I love him...his name is Julius Ceasar named after my favorite King :-)
| By Anonymous on Friday, September 03, 1999 - 11:10 am: |
i am in love with a girl belonging to the sikh comm. and i to the hindu punjabi comm.. its just that her parents will not agree to our marriage whereas its ok with my parents . i can get her to my home and tie knots , i think by means of a registered marriage but i just dont know how to go about it!! can anyone advise fast please !! :(
| By Princess on Friday, September 03, 1999 - 05:22 pm: |
Anoymous,
It's a question of marriage, family and love so why the rush?
How long have you tried to convince her parents? What methods have you guys tried? How long are you dating and how old are you guys?
I'm trying to figure out why you are giving up so easily. Is your girlfriend ready to leave her family and marry you without them? Or is this your idea? One's family is important and should be part of anyones marriage ceremony. If you love her be patient and work on it a bit harder before you just give up run away and end up hurting her parents.
| By JollyBird on Monday, September 13, 1999 - 08:19 am: |
Love...Well as such everybody will say all those hi-praise words when speaking about it.
But all those who speak can turn back and see their life, did they ever honour LOVE as much as they speak.
I had a friend who was very close to me for years. We were of different community, religion whatever u can think about except that we both are Indians.
One fine day the proposal came from the other side and i was in blue. Cause i had to think about the problems that might raise because of this bondage, from both the sides and the community.
Finally i made the decision (ofcourse i didn't think for years together) and then came the tragic part of it. She is in love with someone else and ignoring me totally.
I wudn't blame her cheap cause i know that she is really good and caring person. I'm still working-out the possibility or the situation which made the change in her........
I'm not against love marriage or arranged marriage....but still wondering is it all a matter of Luck in the partnership Gamble......
| By Opinion on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 03:02 am: |
JollyBird,
I am confused... Did you end up marrying the "friend" you are talking about? Or did you go for an arrange marriage?
Best thing to do is
ask her...discuss with her... what and when and why things went wrong? There has to be a reason or explanation but communication is what may be preventing you guys from moving to a next step.
| By JollyBird on Saturday, September 18, 1999 - 12:33 pm: |
Opinion...
Like ur name says u've posted a good opinion i wud say.
I'm still a bachelor (now don't imagine somelike like the movie....with a beard and sorrow in the eyes)
Well she got married to the other person she fell in love with. I'm still thinking why she changed so suddenly. Where did all those love go (may be got converted for him :0 )
Absolutely there is nothing i cud discuss now. I just wanted her back as my friend, but she doesn't even want to communicate to me. But keeps sending enquiry mails to our common friend. Well may be that is the way things have to move hereafter i guess.
The real thing confusing is generally they say girls are too stubborn when coming to real love. But howcome she changed suddenly (well i don't blame all the girls are like that...) but isn't it funny to provoke someone (that too a close friend) and finally ignoring him totally and just crying i lost his friendship too....
| By Opinion on Saturday, September 18, 1999 - 07:53 pm: |
JollyBird,
Honest and open communication is NOT promoted in our Indian culture. It is sad that it ended the way it did. Perhaps, there was more to it than you think. One day if/when you have enough courage ask her... directly or indirectly via friend.
She may be talking with your friend to avoid hurting you further, or she may be shameful of love that she claimed towards you but not following through til the end.
Do you really think you can be friends with her??? and not have any other feelings for her???
Why hurt yourself further...
I can help you analyze futher if you give/write details of how and what brought your relationship to an end? Last 2 weeks of relationship or things that were discussed/said before it ended.
Hang in there... it is better to love than not have loved. Time will heal...
| By JollyBird on Monday, September 20, 1999 - 07:33 am: |
Opinion....
Thanks for the concern and those soothing words.
| By Anonymous on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 09:48 am: |
Right before he left, he promised me that he just needed to go through a process to fulfill family obligation and no thing would happen. Guess what? In less than a month, he came back engaged, getting married by the end of the year. I was informed that he found someone who has everything he wants. I accepted his decision even though I was deeply hurt and felt betrayed. However, what really bothered me was he did not disclose any of this past relationships (including others and me) to any of his friends, families, and all those Indian girls involved in the process. Could someone tell me is this common? I think it is so unfair. I have had a lot respect for arranged marriages but how can someone take advantage of information asymmetry and abuse the system? Could someone completely erase the past and live happily moving forward? I hope to bring some awareness to the community.
| By Princess on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 01:37 pm: |
Anonymous,
Your response is on Failed Arrangements and Similar Stories.
| By MOHNA on Thursday, November 04, 1999 - 04:59 am: |
Dear Anonymous,
Seems as though this is the song in Indian community these days. I had told everyone about him only he hid me from the world. Naively i believed of his stories how he wanted to wait for the right time..honestly, ne time is the right time......now after a year..i still love him ..may be even more....tried to tell myself thta i dont but i do love hiim......and he is already engaged and ready to move on.....he promised me that all he had to do was to talk to his parents and then we will be together but that was not meant to be.....i went out with him for 5 yrs.....how do you just rip 5 yrs out of yourl ife.........you know i dont even want answers to ne of these questions.....all i know is i loved him without holding ne thing back.....that is all i know.....everybody pays for there •••• in this liftime.
| By Stand up on Thursday, November 04, 1999 - 07:40 pm: |
Anonymous & Mohna,
Best cure for broken heart is:
Pray for strength (if you are religious), Time will heal, surround yourself with friends and family. Do some volunteer work or atleast help out someone less fortunate than you. This will not only distract you but while you are going through some tough time you are doing something good and positive.
Best thing you can do now is: Even though it may be extremely difficult...forget that these "jerks" ever existed & you ever knew them. Let them live with their decisions. If they try to contact you...obviously, don't give them time of the day. Don't be fooled they were selfish towards you. They only wanted to take advantage of you. Don't give them an inch.
Basically, these Indian jerks have made a decision to please their parents, himself and for whatever other reasons. Let these men deal with the consequence of their decisions. Believe me grass is not greener on the other side. Whoever they married is far from perfect and only time will tell.
Most of all, don't go into another relationship out of hurt that these idiots caused you. Take some time off to be independent and self-reliant women. A new stronger, wiser and better you.
Remember, no one has died of broken hearts. Reach out and help some other Indiangirl/women so they would be more cautious. That's something positive that can come out of all this heartache.
| By Mohna on Saturday, November 06, 1999 - 06:26 am: |
Stand up..thanks a lot @
| By Looser on Saturday, November 13, 1999 - 08:01 am: |
I doubt, does LOVE exist on the earth. I felt in love twice seriousely but I burnt my hands both the times. My position was too bad even I tried to commit suicide but fortunately/unfortunately rescued. I don't know love but I feel love is a false paradise. I have lost my total faith in love.
| By Anon on Saturday, November 13, 1999 - 04:32 pm: |
Looser,
It would help... if you gave us some description of what happened.
Possible reasons...
1. Unfortunately it happened twice.
2. Perhaps you choose wrong type of person.
3. Love for oneself should far out weigh love to another human.
Anyway, i am sure there are specific reasons why it happened? Difficult to tell from your post without details.
| By Looser on Sunday, November 14, 1999 - 10:45 am: |
Thanks for your attitute to help me out.
Selection of right person is not always in one's hand. Love in never a pre-planned activity so there is no question of selection.
Break off may has some reason but one feel more pain if it is not known. Same happened to me.
I am a matured 38/M/Del professional having all middle class ammen. of life having bad Love experience.
| By Anon on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 12:52 am: |
Looser,
As a matured 38 yr. male you are in much better shape than some people in India. Count your blessings and try again. If not "Have you heard of an arrange marriage?"
| By Anonymous on Friday, January 07, 2000 - 08:41 am: |
Hello,
I am from small town in U.P. and at present doing my M.S. from USA. We are Verma (Maidh Rajput) by caste. I am in love with my first cousin(Daughter of my mother's sister). She is also madly in love with me. I discussed this to my parents and her parents, which was strongly opposed because they are not ready for this as what others will say in the society.
As far as genetic grounds are concerned, I came to know that it only increases the risk of abnormalities in the offsprings from 18% to 21%.
I want to know, if I marry her, is it going to raise some big question in the society. Please give serious advise wether it is not possible at all.
| By pally on Tuesday, April 11, 2000 - 01:00 am: |
well when i arrive to india i fallin love with one of sikh guy and now i came back to canada and he still there in india and i miss him lot also i love him i don't know when we are going to see each other from today to it's 6months and lot's of hours and seconds gone and i havn't seen him.
miss u,love u
| By Jat Punjabi on Wednesday, April 12, 2000 - 10:23 pm: |
Hey pally,
Did you even tell him that you loved him? If you understand Hindi, you could be singing this song:
Awaaz de kahan hai....duniya meri jawaan hai....
Awaad mere dil ki umeed ka jahaan hai...aise mein tu kahan hai....
Awwaz de kahan hai...
Take care
| By esl on Monday, May 08, 2000 - 07:31 pm: |
If you understand english pally just say to him:
I want you to lick me south of the border!
| By devang on Sunday, June 25, 2000 - 10:14 am: |
hi girls
| By yogesh on Sunday, July 09, 2000 - 01:52 am: |
is there anybody out there
| By swarn bains a sufi poet on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 12:46 am: |
LOVE is LOVE
It's eternal,selfless .it has no demand,no bounds, .above written stories tell that people expect return out of it.there is none.if some one is looking for pay back "is not love" probably emotion ,probably lust .it is a state of mind to look into your internal mirror.
(some one asked Majnu ,your Laila is ugly .He replied ask my mind .)Sohni sailed on a uncured pot knowing well that it is going to disolve and drown ,but she did .We relate love in terms of male and female relations.it's not. it is unfortunate .Get that out of your minds then you may start to learn what love is.
Love is Love ,til next time
swarn bains 6367 corfu dr , nanaimo ,b.c. canada
ph 250 390 1693
| By JK on Wednesday, October 18, 2000 - 10:28 pm: |
Hi Swarn,
I think you said it. Love begins where self disappears.
And we know this coz it happens to all of us whenever we are new in love.
No expections, attachments, full of compassion and completely unconditonal.
May you all fall in love.....
| By heartbroken on Sunday, March 04, 2001 - 09:13 pm: |
Two years ago I fell in love with someone half my age. She was 16 and I was 32. We became best of friends and saw each other every day. She had a boyfriend and I had been engaged for seven years. I had to break off the friendship because I felt it was wrong and too difficult for everyone involved. I lost ten kilos in three months, slept 3-4 hours a night, was administered anti-depressants for the first time in my life. There was a lot of confusion going on in my head. I've always been a good person, and to be in this situation was a nightmare. If I walked away, I was going to hurt that girl beyond repair and she would never understand. The fact that she had lost her father the previous year and needed the close friendship was what made it even more difficult. I eventually managed to walk away from it all, even when she begged me to not end the friendship. It's nearly cost my long-term relationship with my fiancee and my sanity. I was suicidal for months and had to see a psychiatrist. I've never experienced something so crazy and intense. It's taken me a good year to get back to a stable state of mind, but I'm still not out of it. How do you stop having someone on your mind on A DAILY BASIS when it's all over, when you know you did the right thing morally by walking away (the age difference was a major moral issue for me in this friendship)-- I'm still hurting so badly every day, at times it's hard to move on. I'm a strong person, but you wake up at 3 in the morning, and all you have is this face and smile looking at you in the darkness, and you hear this voice saying, 'but I don't want you to leave', and you see the tears in her eyes, and you feel as if every single one of your limbs has been broken, it's so hard to move on. Does it get better? Do you forget the person? I thought I would after all this time, but it's only getting worse and more intensed inside. Why is this happening? I really want to leave this all thing behind and move on, and logically I'm trying the best, but emotionally it's not happening. What can I do? How do you cure yourself from having fallen in love with someone you can never have a relationship with? I am emotional shattered by this experience, and on top of it all, my fiancee loves me so much and has been through hell and back during this whole thing (of which I have always told her the truth), that I feel ashamed and guilty. I can't tell her what is still happening to me internally because I'm scared she's going to hurt too much, and I know she will. She thinks I've forgotten about this young girl, but I haven't, even thought I'm trying so hard to.
HELP IF ANYONE HAS EVER EXPERIENCED SOMETHING SO SOUL-DESTROYING AND HURTFULL.
| By An Irishman on Tuesday, March 06, 2001 - 08:47 pm: |
Yes, friend, time does make it better.
Pushing her out of your mind, whenever
possible, hurries the healing process
along. You won't always be able to
push her out of your mind, but when
you can, you should.
It's also a good thing you didn't do
this in the United States, because it
is a felony here.
Good luck.
| By Yasmeen on Monday, March 12, 2001 - 10:01 am: |
Heartbroken was the relationship sexual or was it just friends ? Did the young girl know that you were already engaged ? I guess it must have been a difficult time for everyone involved and probably still is. Just one thought though are you sure that you are in love with your fiance or just staying because its been 7 years and you dont want to end it now ? I realise thats a pretty personal q but if shes the one whos in love with you and then after marriage you fall in love with someone else who you can have a relationship with ( not like the 16 year old ) things would be even more difficult. just my 2 cents worth
| By SAM on Wednesday, March 21, 2001 - 09:06 am: |
HAI,
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHOTOES SCANNED.SEND TO ME.
| By Indira on Thursday, March 22, 2001 - 08:33 am: |
Hey heartbroken
Sometimes the heart goes on long after the physical apsect is gone and it's the memories that haunt us the most.I know that you broke off the relationship but maybe it's time you saw your ex again.I suggest so becoz then you can confront the memories that haunt you. coz maybe just seeing her face to face or from a distance will ease your mind and you will finally be able to move on. Remeber you can only move on if you face your fears/haunting memories. Also like yasmeen said are you really inlove with your fiancee? She may be a good woman but she deserves someone who loves her 100% and so do you deserve to be with someone you really love.If you deciede to stay with your fiancee take it like an arranged marriage and make a big effort to make it work and forget about the 16yr old girl. Best wishes in your decision.Remember at the end you must achieve peace within your heart about all this.
| By Geeta Batra on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 02:02 pm: |
Hi There,
I am 23 Sweet,beautiful girl,looking for dynamic guy for fun,Travelling.IF any good guy interested in me,Please email me or contact me.
011-5141544-45
Seeya
Gita Batra
| By Anonymous on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 09:18 pm: |
Heartbroken, I know what you are going through, because I have been through a similar situation. I've been married now for about 18 years, and everything seemed pretty normal in my life. About 3 years ago I met an African American gentleman, and we connected so naturally. I felt so fulfilled with him, not just physically but also spriritually and mentally. The question was what was I to do? He was ready to leave his wife and start a new life with me, but I couldn't do that to my husband and children. We still communicate but don't have as much physical connection as we used to, but I'm in love with this man, and always will be. It breaks my heart every day to think I can't be with the man of my dreams. I can't concentrate on my work or family at times, and that's not fair to my family. I pray that in another life I can be with this man. I go on with my day to day life, and some days are very hard to get through, but I just have to try and move on. I know what it feels like to have something so bad but can't have it.
| By vicky on Tuesday, May 29, 2001 - 09:17 am: |
hi,
its nice that there is board to share our heart and feeling however good /bad they are, pl be in touch
vicky.k@vickysmail.com
| By TelltheTruth on Sunday, August 05, 2001 - 04:49 pm: |
Anonymous,
I commend you on your honesty in writing to admit there are decent and intelligent african american men women of all races can fall in love with.
| By LutonBoy on Sunday, September 02, 2001 - 04:29 am: |
Hey people!
Ive just found this page by accident and think its wonderful!
I NEED HELP, im a 21yo old indian guy from england, livin at home wid ma family.
Now, ive been with my muslim girlfreind for nearly 2 years. We liked each other way before that but never said anything 2 each other for fear of spoiling our relationship.
So then she got forced to go and get married to her cousin in pakistan, and when she came back she confessed her feelings 4 me and we have been 2gether since.
Her husband came down here and she lived with him but would not let herself off to him so he forced himself onto her twice. After that she moved back in with her parents and has asked for a divorce.
After she left him we embarked on a full on sexual affair and she fell pregnant.
She has managed to pass the baby, who i know is mine, off as being hers and her husbands, for fear of letting on the truth to her family or to her husband.
What do i do, i come from a respectable indian household and family and cannot bear the thought of shame being bought to my mum and dad.
I do wish to go away with her and start a new life and this is something that we have wanted since we'v been 2gether
I do love her and i know she loves me, but has told me that she will go it alone if i cant leave my family, and that she will be fine.
But i cant bear the thought of her looking after my baby on her own, and having my own flesh and blood not knowing his father.
My family will never accept it, and hers will kill her, me and our child if they ever found out.
What 2 do?
Replies pleaz.....
| By Sunshine on Tuesday, October 09, 2001 - 06:07 pm: |
LutonBoy,
BE A MAN!
THIS HAPPENS ALL AROUND THE WORLD EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY!
Get a place of your own for the 3 of you and start life anew.
Your child deserves and has a blood right to be with her Father and Mother.
Don't worry about what others think, if it means problems with your Family and expulsion, so be it!
Good luck and blessings for the 3 of you!