| By editor on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 - 01:01 am: |
Friends
The current thread was destroyed after Lisa's msg on Dec 6 onwards. Guess her tragedy was too much to bear on this page:). Well dear Lisa and other friends who participated on this thread we are going to resume it by posting it today although originally this discussion was started on Dec 6.
We have created a few new threads and the broken threads will be available on the new pages shortly.
| By Editor on Sunday, March 12, 2000 - 01:28 am: |
Sameer and others
His Story is at this page Run Away Bride : Duped & Distressed by Fraudulent & Mean Family
Please click on this page.
| By P.A. Finlay on Tuesday, March 14, 2000 - 05:38 am: |
Are you entering an arranged marriage or do you have experience with an arranged marriage - if so, please contact me. I am an established freelance reporter and master of journalism student in Canada (London, Ontario)
I am looking to interview men and women who are entering an arranged marriage. Whether you are for or against arranged marriages, I would like to hear your story.
Please contact me by e-mail so we can set up an interview. Thank you. Patti-Ann Finlay
| By LOL on Saturday, May 27, 2000 - 05:49 pm: |
Ha, no win win situations. It figures!!
| By Tania on Thursday, November 02, 2000 - 08:47 pm: |
I am an Australian who would like to remain in England. My only option is to become apart of an arranged marrige which is proving very difficult.
The only information I can find are documents telling me why I shouldn't do it.
Would anyone know where I can get some help from?
| By Lynne on Monday, April 09, 2001 - 06:25 pm: |
I am an american girl who is seeing an Indian man. We have been together for 4 years. Nearly 1 year ago he was arranged and went through with the wedding so as not to embarrass his family. We are still seeing each other, and are very intimate. I am to the point (and have been for some time now) where I can't continue the relationship, but don't know how to end it. He has retained a lawyer to divorce her, but has not completed the proceedings, as he is concerned that his family will think ill of him for going into a marriage that he had no intention of making an effort towards.
Any comments are welcomed.
| By DAVE on Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 12:21 pm: |
I am writing on behalf of London Weekend Television to ask for help with a new programme we are making. The programme is called "London in Love" and it looks at different aspects of love in Londoner's lives. We are looking for an interfaith couple who are planning to get married within the next 5 weeks, we would like to ask them if they have had any problems caused by their different faith's, find out about their life, and possibly follow them on their big day. We are finding it very difficult to find anyone who is in an interfaith relationship so if anyone can help; if you are in an interfaith relationship or know someone who is, as long as they live in or around London get in touch! Any help or views are most welcome. Please send all e-mails to - Audreybr@Granadamedia.com or snail mail - 17 Hatfields London SE1 8DJ. Telephone 0207 578 4288 or Fax 0207 633 2714. We are filming over the next 5 weeks! Thankyou in advance. The Lab @ LWT.
| By Indira on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 04:54 am: |
dear Lynne
How are things?You say that your BF has procured a lawyer to divorce his wife. i guess things are moving in the right direction. don't give up hope- if this is really what is meant to be then it will be.if he is really making an effort to make things right then stick with him.I don't condenm you for having stayed- sometimes love doesn't always go the socially acceptable way at first, but, if in the end you are both happy and find peace then love has served it's purpose. i think that his wife deserves a man who loves her for herself not out of family obligation.so hang in there but don't be too "readliy available", (he must see you for who you are and must respect your worth to him as the woman who holds his heart) coz sometimes intimacy hides this view from men. also if he is really doing what he said he would do about the divorce then support him lovingly.It must be very hard for him to go against his famliy. Whatever you do remeber that if you play your cards right you will walk out a happy woman.Best wishes
| By sacchaaadmi on Monday, May 21, 2001 - 08:02 pm: |
indira you should be ashamed of yourself. you are a black blot on indian women. don't you have any morals at all? seems so.
lynee that man went through the wedding, if he loved you he would not have done that. even after marriage you two are engaged in immoral acts that both of you shouldbe ashamed about. that man does not love you. he is a spineless scheming coward. he is using you for sexual pleasure. that is all there is to it. if you fall for his lies then you deserve him.
| By indira on Tuesday, May 22, 2001 - 04:40 am: |
sacchaaadmi
my advice was intended for LYNEE!!! if you have an adverse opinion then voice it.if her Bf is unhappy and wants to divorce then he if free to go ahead instead of living a lie. if he realises that he should have follwed his heart -then he should. do u honestly think that his wife is happy not knowing why whatever she does doesn't make him like her any better becoz his heart is elsewhere.obviously you are not a woman who has has the misfortune of being married to another woman's man and you don't know what it's like.life is not perfect but pple should make the best of it.
| By sacchaaadmi on Tuesday, May 22, 2001 - 03:46 pm: |
good indira. you are perhaps a man. if you were a decent person you would have said like" that man was a spineless thug who is got married to another woman and cause he is a smarty ass who wants sex from his gf and his wife and cause he was a coward and a sly cunning schemer he could come up with the only excuse that he got married cause of his family and now he is using his gf and wife both" but alas you are a pathetic person Indira making all kinds of excuses and letting the rascal get away with his thuggerry and giving bullshitt advice.
| By Kase on Wednesday, May 23, 2001 - 04:40 am: |
Indira,
On another thread, sacchaaadmi told of how he kicked his wife out. Ignore him; he knows nothing about relationships. Indira, Thanks for contributing kind advice.
| By sacchaaadmi on Wednesday, May 23, 2001 - 07:01 am: |
kase is another white ass licker or a pale skin. tariorous blood runs in his veins. all indians look here read his posts. this man/woman/or? cannot even use the same alias cause his cowradice and deception will come out then. thsi person? supports a married man keeping a girlfriend? mistress is a better word.
this man suppports a married man cheating on his wife. this man? or? supports a man sleeping with his wife and his mistress. what more is there to say?
you get the picture.
| By Indira on Wednesday, May 23, 2001 - 08:01 pm: |
sacchaaadmi
if what i say makes me a man, then judging by what you say you are ALMOST a man!
| By Indira on Wednesday, May 23, 2001 - 07:55 pm: |
sacchaaadmi
you say i'm a black mark to indian woman- i guess you are entiltled to your own opinion on that. the reason i say he should hurry up and leave the wife is if he lingers , gets her pregnant with 2or 3 kids and then still decides to leave her for his true love. his wife is in a an even more disgraced state than just being divorced without children. at this point she can just get a divorce, go to india/ stay and meet soemone who will love her for herself.her situation is unfortunate but such is life. you being indian should be familiar with how difficult it is for a divorced, woman with a child to get married in india.so i'm not unsympathetic to the wife's pleight. i just know that it could be worse. if you live long enough you will find that life is very humbling. best wishes to you. by the way why did you kick your own wife out? just curious!
| By sacchaaadmi on Wednesday, May 23, 2001 - 08:41 pm: |
indira smarty ass women and a pale skin woman if you had any brains and eyes you would have read that I am not married and never was. hehe I bet you are myaorcharolltteor sussannah. you are despicable black blot on womenkind. you say kick the mother in law out and then take sides for the mistress. you shou;d be ashamed of yourself. by the way you seem to be speaking from personal experiences. may be you were in the position of a mistress and got the real wife thrown out of way of divorce. have you got no shame.
we don't want indecent people like you here.
| By Sri on Thursday, May 24, 2001 - 04:37 am: |
sacchaaadmi,
you seem to insist on proving how useless you want to be to society. why don't you realize that you do not belong in this world and commit suicide? this way, you will spare jail time for someone who may actually take on the task of killing you. this seems to be the only way to get rid of your useless jibes at everyone around here. were you abused in childhood?
| By Kase on Thursday, May 24, 2001 - 04:07 am: |
Indira,
You can read how sacchaaadmi ran his wife off under the threads:
Marrying a foreigner - Indians attracted to Americans - parent's living with us.
He posted under the name dukhiaatma and feelgoodnow.
| By Lori on Thursday, May 24, 2001 - 07:14 am: |
Lynne, I'm in a similar situation--glad to know I'm not the only one stuck in this bizarre situation. Unfortunately, my b/f's wife does not seem to care that he is in love with someone else (after more than a year of marriage).
| By sacchaaadmi on Thursday, May 24, 2001 - 07:11 am: |
sri and kase you two mud rassis read my thread on incest among south indians. this way you may learn about your real geneological history. Incest is common practice among south indians. whydont you two mud rassis do a favor kill yourself and not pollute this world. shame shame a history still going on incest incest.
| By annonymous on Thursday, May 24, 2001 - 10:58 pm: |
sacchaaadmi,
maybe it's time to quit this particular thread and try your hand someplace else. coz clearly your input is not appreciated.thanks
| By Kase on Friday, May 25, 2001 - 04:20 am: |
sacchaaadmi,
If you want to sleep with your relatives, go ahead, it is none of my business. I am curious, why would you want to marry your neice or cousin? Isn't this strange for you? Was your ex-wife that escaped from you a relative?
| By Lynne on Wednesday, May 30, 2001 - 12:50 am: |
I posted my comments quite some time ago and am pleasantly suprised to see all of the "advise" around my situation.
Indira,
Thank you so much for the supporting comments. I do love him, and he says he loves me. The latest is that his wife knows that he loves me and she has told her parents. They live here in the states and have begun making his life quite miserable by saying that he doesn't deserve the divorce since he was desceptive before the marriage. The in-laws have involved his mother as well. This is exceptionally bad, as his father passed when he was young and he is an only child. He feels as though he must put his own happiness aside and make his mother happy by delaying the divorce. We are both miserable. There are times when I feel that I'm at the end of my rope...especially since his wife says she will make the divorce very difficult (her parents say that if she divorces she will have to move back with them). I'm distraught and don't know what will happen. Their first anniversary was this past Saturday and it hurt that it even had to happen.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not proud of the situation...I feel as though his wife is a victim, but is it common for an Indian marriage to overlook affairs, lack of love, etc...?
Lori,
I hope your situation is coming along...please tell me what is going on.
| By Indira on Wednesday, May 30, 2001 - 09:03 am: |
lynne,
the reason i sunction your position in this matter is i know a family friend whose son loved a girl of a different caste and was not pemitted to marry her. he obliged his family and had an arranged marriage. 2 months later he couldn't stop loving his ex and also couldn't divorce since his parents refused . in the end he committed suicide out of frustration.looking back on it all that was a waste of such a young life. he was a good son and everyday that goes by his parents wish they had obliged to his wishes, but it's too late. i think they would have been happier with an inlaw from a lower caste than they are now with a dead son. so you see life is not just about dowry and society but also about the heart, feelings, and free will.
| By Indira on Wednesday, May 30, 2001 - 08:52 am: |
lynne,
i guess the discussion kinda wondered off without you! well i'm glad to know that you are fine.i personally don't believe that there is such a thing as "deserving a divorce", also i don't think blackmailing someone to stay in a marriage will cause love to sprout. love that comes qiute naturally is the kind that stays. if his wife knows and purposefully wants to make his life misarable with the help of her parents that will only make him long to be free. force never produces the desired effect so really Lynne all they are doing is working in your favor.from what u say i'm not sure if the wife loves him and its sad her family must invovle his poor ma in all this.i guess i will lay "the devils advocate" according to some and give you some advice:
lynne be his friend during this time he should not asociate your voice with nagging and contention, i always say a woman with a sweet voice can greatly influence a man. he is under enough stress so be the one place wher he can find rest enough to be at peace with his inner self.also silence and confidence must be your allies now, don't comment on whats going on or give opinions -thats just stressing him, instead show him your good side. be so good that to him you are in a class of your own you have no contenders. be his friend ,his support, his companion. this will make the transition easier for him. it's hard to say how things will turn out but one thing is sure the law of love is working in your favor, use it to your advantage.it's not easy to go through this but also it's not impossible, just be still and watch what happens as a result.
| By ramakant on Wednesday, May 30, 2001 - 03:17 pm: |
Hmm all these women and mistresess want the the aduktaror to throw the wife out. hmmmm what a bunch of no good shameless women. shame on you.
| By Lynne on Wednesday, May 30, 2001 - 02:19 pm: |
Indira,
That's the best advice I've heard thus far. He has always said that I am his strength, and I agree that I just need to be his "friend" right now. Thank you. You've shed a new light on my situation.
I'm very sorry to hear of your friend's situation. How desperate someone must feel to go to such extremes!!
Again, thank you for your words of wisdom.
I'll keep you posted.