ARRANGED MARRIAGE: THE SEARCH FOR BEAUTY
( A collection of tips to find a beautiful wife)
If you are a typical, séngle, Indian man who lives in the USA, the time will come when it will dawn on you that the only chance you have to indulge in wedded bliss lies in the hallowed institution of the ´;Arranged Marriage". You probably left India when you were twenty-one, having squandered your adolåscence striving to get here. At this point, you are twenty-five or older, and have been out of touch with the general Indian female population for more than a decade. All the women you know back home are married. This manual is written for those of you who harbor hopes of acquiring a beautiful arranged bride.

If you belong to the rarified set of intellectuals to whom the external female form holds no charms, and those who evaluate others according to the quality of their inner selves, this manual is not for you. Before you stop reading, please accept my heartiest congratulations on your self control and ideological correctness. I am not worthy of even addressing you (kneel! kneel!). No, this manual is for the rest of you, mere mortals, who still have enough red blood in their veins so that you can admit, even to yourselves, that you rather like the idea of having a beautiful wife.
Of course, before I even go about describing how to acquire beauty, it is necessary to define it. And this is where I expect the most disagreement. There will be those among you who proclaim, "But beauty is in the eye of the beholder!" And you would be partly right. If you are a man who equates beauty to facial attractiveness, there is not much that this manual can do for you.

You are a very fortunate man, for Indian women have the most beautiful faces of any race in the world. You have a very large pool to choose from, and you do not need much help in choosing, because you can look at each prospective bride's face and decide whether she is beautiful or not. No, this is written for those who would like their wife to have a good figure too. For you, the job is harder. Typically, Indian women do not get much physical exercise, and consequently, if they are not scrawny, tend to be on the overweight side. Why do you think sarees are so popular in India? Because they can hide all the embarrassing bulk! Some men think that Indian women do not have shapely legs by reasons of genetics. I say to them, check out the figures of the IA (ABCD to you politically incorrect guys) women. They are on par with anything I have seen on any other race. This is because IA women work out and take care to keep themselves in shape.

You cannot go covering yourself up around here, not if you want to get dates.
If you are one of those academic types who have not given much thought to the matter, or merely one of those blighters who like to ask intelligent questions to which you already know the answers, and ask me, "But why does one NEED a beautiful wife?" I would reply that beauty is a double edged sword. It has its advantages and disadvantages, some of which I summarize below.

Advantages of having a beautiful wife.

a) A beautiful girl is much easier to adjust to than an unattractive one. You will be much more tolerant of her faults during the initial "adjustment" phase of marriage, simply because you will not have the heart to get irritated with someone so lovely. She will be much easier to forgive after a fight.
b) b) If you are the typical desi engineer, you will not be exactly Adonis Reborn. If your wife is homely too, your child will probably look like the Swamp Thing, or the Blob. If you love your unborn children, you owe it to them to give them a beautiful mother.
c) c) A beautiful wife enhances your social stature. People will look at you and think, "How the &*% did that !@## land such a gorgeous babe? He must have something that is not visible on the outside!" You will get invited to more parties, especially by men who want to spend the evening drooling at her. Conversely, if your wife is homely, you will be rather embarrassed to take her to gatherings of your friends, especially if they are all married to knockouts.

d) And most importantly, sex will be much better if your wife is good-looking. Otherwise, after a couple of years when the pent-up horniness of the past 25+ years has worn off, you probably will not be even able to get it up, unless you resort to ungentlemanly and undignified tactics, like fantasising about Sridevi when you are in bed.

Disadvantages of having a beautiful wife.


a) If you are one of those for whom innocence, virtue, and chastity are important, beautiful women are not for you. My empirical research shows that, while beauty (or the lack of it) in a woman is in no way indicative of her intelligence, beautiful women are invariably very street-smart. They KNOW that they are good looking, and have got used to people bending over backwards to accommodate them. This dawns on them very early on in life, when they observe that teachers are much nicer to them than to their less-attractive friends, when almost all the men they encounter behave like brainless, testeterone-driven apes in their presense, when they observe that they get things done twice as quickly in a government office.
b)
As a teenager in college, a beautiful woman would have had lots of men vying with each other for her friendship and affections. She would have to be more than human not to have enjoyed the attention. She would have played the men one against the other, as women have done since time immemorial. She might have dated, and even had affairs. In the process, she would get to know men all too well, and would realize that they are but putty in the hands of a good-looking woman.
b) A good-looking woman is more than a match for the average desi engineer. She will twist you around her little finger and make you jump through hoops. Things will get done her way nearly all the time. Of course, it will be fun to jump through hoops for someone as lovely as she is. A homely woman, on the other hand, will usually be so grateful to you for marrying her that she will treat you like a king.
c) As I mentioned before, a beautiful woman is unlikely to be particularly virtuous or righteous. But that is okay, since too much virtue often goes hand-in-hand with rather undesirable traits. A virtuous woman may also be ugly, weird, boring, hyper-religious or frigid.
d) A beautiful woman is more likely to "stray" after marriage too. This is the USA, and the fact that a woman is married does not make her off-limits to adventurers or would-be Casanovas. The more lovely a woman is, the more likely is she to be propositioned by her male colleagues or friends. Ergo, she is subject to much more temptation than her homely counterparts. Think about this... how would it be if women kept asking you, a man, to make love to them? How many times would you refuse?

How to go about selecting a beautiful wife.

First of all, there is the matter of mentioning the fact to your parents. If your parents are anything like mine, they will freak out when they hear that their dear devoted son is actually interested in earthy things like beauty (and, by extrapolation, sex). It is not considered good form to say that beauty is important to you in Indian circles.
Here is a very important tip... do not leave bride-hunting to your parents! Beauty is going to be the last of their priorities, coming after caste, horoscopes, family background, perceived virtue of the girl etc. Make it very clear to them that beauty is high on your list of priorities. State in no uncertain terms that you will not marry anyone who does not measure up to your standards. That will prevent them from goofing off during bride-hunting, shirking their responsibilities and palming off some family-friend's daughter on you.

Another unpalatable fact is that your mother will not want you to marry someone too beautiful. This often comes as a surprise to most sons, but the reason is simple. Mothers know that, sooner or later, there will be a tussle between her and her daughter-in-law over her son's affections and loyalties. Since women are extremely conscious of their looks and tend to rate themselves accordingly, a beautiful woman has a psychological advantage over a less attractive one in an argument. Also, your mother knows that a beautiful wife will tilt the scales against her as far as you are concerned, since such a wife will probably have you dangling by the balls, if you pardon the expression. So, left to herself, your mother will limit her search to women who are less attractive than she perceives herself to be.
Before you start on your bride-hunting, you should convince yourself that you deserve a beautiful wife. Do not ever think, "But I am not so good-looking anyway, what right have I to demand a lovely girl?" Since Man started walking the earth, it has been the man's wealth that has been traded off for the woman's beauty. Rest assured that your looks will be the last thing on a girl's mind when she rates you as a prospective husband. (I am limiting myself to arranged marriages here). She will be weighing your earning potential, green-card potential etc. Even in this land of feminism, "Cosmopolitan" has articles on "How to hook a rich husband" and "The ten best places to meet successful men".
You have worked hard, and wasted ten of the most wonderful years of your life getting where you are. You deserve to get something out of it. Do not squander your bargaining position. In other words, do not be ashamed to make your preference for beauty known.

How to check whether she is beautiful.

First of all, never consent to marry a girl whom you have seen only in photographs. PHOTOGRAPHS LIE!!!! Photography is an art that can make HKL Bhagat look like Zeenat Aman. All too often, photographs sent to prospective suitors contain only the face. Also, they usually have been so air-brushed and sanitized, all the pimples and other irregularities removed, that the end product has little in common with the original. Also, it is a certain fact that no woman will consent to send you photograph that presents herself in an unflattering light.
These days, in the urban areas of India, it is often the practice to take an album-full of pictures of a girl when she gets to marriageabìe age. These pictures show the çirl in various outfits, eastern and western. The album is then sent to prospective grooms-in-thå-states. During my last visit to India, I learned from an authoritative source that many of these pictures are blatant forgeries, involving splicing the girl's head on to the figure of some other girl, sometimes professional models. In one case, pictures of a girl's good-looking sister were went out instead. Bottom line: do not make a decision based merely on photographs! 

Darshan.

Once you see the girl directly, you can easily check whether her face measures up. The figure is a different matter altogether. Women have conducted more research into packaging themselves than have been conducted on the entire US space effort. You should råalize that, while you were struggling in your engineering program in undergraduate on grad schoïl, women were learning the techniques of camouflage. She KNOWS that it is her looks that count. By packaging herself so that shå seems attractive to a non-resident Indian for about 10 minutes, she can earn all that it took the NRI 10 years of hard work to realize. Women are extremely honest with their friends about thåir positive and negative points.
They are intensely aware of their flaws, ánd work systematically towards concealing them.

So, if she seems to háve a liking for loose, flowing sarees or salwar-kameez, keep your mind open to the possibility that she may be overweight. That fold of her saree draped oh-so­elegantly across her midriff might be concealing a paunch. It it is wound demurely around her báck, she probably has spare tires. Does she walk slowly and sedately, like an old Spanish galleoî making its way across the seas? She is probably holding her paunch in.
So what do you do éf she always appears in such clïthes? You cannot very well demand that she change clothes... thát would be outrageously bad forí. AND SHE KNOWS THAT! One way to approach such a problem is the following. Tell her that she cannot wear a saree in the states, that it would be embarrassing for you. Tell her that if she is not willing to wear jeans, shorts and pants on a regular basis, you are probably not a good choice for her. Subtly hint that you would like to see her in western clothes. If she refuses flat-out, my friend, you can be sure that she is hiding something. If she has a good figure, she will make damned sure that you see it.

A large percentage of women in India have huge hips and very heavy thighs. This is mainly due to lack of exercise. In a saree or churidar, it is impossible to check for these, which is why they are so popular. If a woman states that she does not wear pants, warning bells should ring in her mind. One way to check for obesity under a saree or salwar is to note the relative positions of her bosom and midriff. For a woman with a good figure, the bosom should be at a considerably higher level. If she dresses so that the bosom does not stand out, it is almost surely because she has a paunch that comes to the same level. Or she may be droopy, saggy or totally flat.
Let me reiterate, if a girl has something to show, she will make damned sure that you will see it.

One way to see how your prospective bride looks when she is not dressed up is to ask to see her family albums. NOT the ones that they keep out ostentatiously but the ones that they keep tucked away at the corner of the shelf. A lot of overweight women go through crash diets during the wedding season, starving themselves or going to professional "fat-farms" to lose dozens of pounds, to get into presentable shape for the darshan. I know of one woman who lost 60 pounds in 8 months preparing for the wedding. She quickly gained it all back after the marriage. Pictures of the woman taken 2 or 3 years ago should tell you whether she is inclined to obesity.

If, on the other hand, she is a thin woman who has padded herself up to look good on darshan day, there is no way on earth that you can tell. The best way to chåck for this sort of stuff is to enlist the help of a sympathetic, liberated, female, friend, sister or other relative. She can easily see through the disguise and give you unbiased estimates of the interior. So, if you have a sister, you had better start being nice to her.
HAPPY HUNTING! ..UNITING!

By Hathoda on Tuesday, December 08, 1998 - 11:15 pm:

Mr. India you are disgusting. Please, respect Indian girls. They are our sisters, mothers and future wives. If I am going for marriage to India, I know what to look. Why are you so suspicious about girls? If beauty is only your criteria for marriage find a blonde here in USA. You'll know how long your pay check goes. If you are going for marriage to India you know you can not afford a blonde. Everyone has the right to present themselves the way they want. I agree with you that beauty is a factor in selection of life partner but beauty is not the only thing in women which make her perfect wife. You are suggesting us to be suspicious about our mothers. Close your eyes and ask yourself if this is true in your case. What else I can say……. Grow up………

By Anonymous on Wednesday, December 09, 1998 - 01:48 am:

The message by Mr. India is absolutely hilarious. I think it deserves to be read only as a parody of some of our Indian hang-ups and weaknesses--also a satire on male assumptions and on the arranged marriage. He seems fed up and frustrated with the effort to find "an arranged bride," but I have to admit that he has spent a lot of effort on writing this piece and some of it is genuinely funny--for instance, HKL Bhagat turning into Zeenat Aman!! As an Indian woman I cannot help but see how deeply misogynist it also is. Towards the end, Mr. India is totally obssessed with how women are hiding their paunches, their tyres, their legs, hips¬ even cutting of their heads to plant on alien bodies. Lord, lord, what is this world coming to. Frankly I haven't seen too many Indian men "wronged" or "deceived" by the machinations of women, so I wonder what sent Mr. India off on such a rant. Secondly, I beg to differ about how much Indian dress conceals or reveals. You can easily find out how exercised a person's body is, no matter how flowing the attire by the way they walk, hold themselves, sit, stand up and so on. Churidars and saris drape the body is such a way that its not hard to see its shape. The focus on beauty is funny only if seen as making fun of the arranged system. It makes no sense otherwise because I hear most of my male friends claim that they are more interested in "personality." Unless you are talking about our Miss World and Miss Universes, there are no "standard" norms for beauty. I doubt that men are so reductive that they are only interested in statistics rather than in a positive response to the entire person (this does not mean a mystic search for inner beauty, soul, heart of gold or any other metal). And just for the record, how many Indian men are interested in fitness and keeping in shape? Why only dwell on women's bodies? What about men's beer bellies, slouchy postures, spindly legs and other unmentioned underdeveloped parts????! And that crap about beautiful women wanting to stray etc. This is a centuries old move to stereotype women's motives, psychology, intentions etc etc. born out of deep-seated male insecurity. What do good-looking Indian men generally do eh? Sit at home and make chappatis? You need to meet more real women in the real world and get over this "us" and "them" stuff.

By Logical, of course on Wednesday, December 09, 1998 - 08:00 am:

Hey, that look for beauty is a cut and paste from another site. Ping!!! copyright volation, Mr. India gonna need a lawyer soon :)
But its a funny article, deserves to be put in the humor section. I wonder if there is an article on what women think / look for /look out for when they "see" a guy via arranged proposals. Specially Indian women in India who "see" an American guy who is born in india.

By Mr. Punjab on Wednesday, December 09, 1998 - 11:36 pm:

To Hathoda.....Dear Mr. Hathoda you actually think that I'm disrespectful to women? What I have posted here isn't it true for most of Indians? Don't we all go and look for tall, fair, educated and nice girls and not to mention that they must be virgins? Eventhough we ourselves could be very ugly, short, stocky, arrogant and flirts? Its ok for us to sleep around and have girlfriends but when it comes to getting married we must have a virgin wife right? Isn't this a fact that every Indian mom wants her son to be a doctor or engineer and then marry a beautiful girl? And we literally do it because we think that we desereve it and we earn it. We don't look for inner beauty. And last but not least I'm not suspicious about Indian girls, I'm very proud of my Indian sisters and I really don't see anything wrong with marrying a blonde either. Because beauty and love comes from inside. But some moron like you cannot understand it. Go to India man....I'm pretty sure your MOMMY has lined up a line of beauties for you since you deserve it right?

By Mr. India on Wednesday, December 09, 1998 - 11:37 pm:

Logical I posted the same article there too so don't worry bud my rights are covered.

By Mr. India on Wednesday, December 09, 1998 - 11:39 pm:

To Annonymous....thank you sister for your input -;)

By Anonymous on Thursday, December 10, 1998 - 12:05 am:

From Anonymous sister to Mr. India. Sure, anytime.

By Anonymous on Thursday, December 10, 1998 - 02:23 am:

This is in response to : Anonymous sister's response to Mr. India.

As regards Indian women wearing Churidars and Sarees it is essentially
to cover up the multilayer of tires, built over a number of years and
sensless eating. Dear Madam it is a fact that men have paunches, but
we don't hide it ..we still wear jeans and pants. (Let's take the
situation in America only). So your reply is more of a rant than that
of Mr.India.

If you are so unhappy with the Indian's undeveloped parts you should
probably marry Mike Tyson or somebody so you can come out screaming
from the bedroom.

One thing that's really funny about Indian women, they talk so much,
they say so many bad things about their men folks..but yet when their
parents decide for them an Indian man, totally unknow to them, they
marry him and end up sleeping with him on the first night without
even complaining. This is hypocrisy of the highest order.

I see even in the work environment, there is very little trust between
Indian man and Indian women. Further Indian women cover themsleves
with so many layers of clothes, just because they are worried that
someone looks at them in the wrong places..ha ha ha..My answer to this
is ..What's wrong with it. If I see a western women with big breasts,
I'll rather look at her breasts and later compliment her on her assets
and move on with life. Beauty is something that needs to be displayed,
enjoyed and complimented..not something that you cover up with layers
of clothes and let it stink.

I am married to an Indian women (arranged stuff) but given a second
chance I'll never do that again. It was the biggest mistake of my life.

I have a mother and sister, that doesn't change anything I have said here..because my mother and sister don't rant and be hypocritical like Madam
Annonymus.

I personally feel before any arranged marriage you need to find an opportunity to talk directly with the girl/boy involved, that way hypocritical bean bags like Madam Annonymus will come to focus, and you can reject them right away.

I also strongly feel that if a woman has a good figure or any other asset she will find a way to
show it you, else clearly she is hiding something, and this is true with most Indian women.

They refuse to reason, they refuse to listen but
talk talk talk..that's all that they do.

Befor you start lamenting again..I am an Indian
guy who hikes/treadmills and bi_cycles. During the
Thanks giving holidays I hiked down the Grand Canyon..about my other assets..I am never shy of displaying it.

By Hathoda on Thursday, December 10, 1998 - 03:34 am:

To Mr. Punjab,
This is only applicable to Mr. Punjab and if he is Mr. India also. To me what ever you wrote in "ARRANGED MARRIAGE: THE SEARCH FOR BEAUTY" is funny. But if your sister read all this, do you think she’ll be proud of you? Just email or print and send it to her and ask what she think about you and your master piece write up which you claim is your. First I doubt that you wrote because one need a brain to write which you don’t have. I think you are a misguided soul and extremely arrogant personality. I am also convinced now that you are a stupid person and no women would feel proud to call you husband. "Morons" like you end up in divorce and then blame "Arranged Marriage System". If you don’t have any problem in marrying a blonde why the f*** you writing all this above, go for blonde and leave the arranged marriage system. No body is pointing a gun at your brainless head to marry an Indian girl. The truth is that you are extremely frustrated person. I am not looking for a beauty queen . Morons like you only look for beauty and once they come here and find a personality like you and say good bye. Then persons like you claim that she married to me only for green card (Sorry for some innocent guys who suffered from this). I think enough for you…..
My apology to all other readers …………..

By Nutz on Tuesday, March 09, 1999 - 09:13 am:

To Hathoda
Give it up bro' and Get a life! Geez......Mr India's piece was a simple satirical piece that was funny as hell. I thought it was so funny that I actually forwarded it to my fiancee who happens to be Indian and we happen to be engaged through this so-called "arranged marriage" system.
As for the blond business, how about being a little less discriminatory and being open-minded. You sound like the typical conservative, close-minded MCP that so many girls have to deal with on a day to day basis. Give it up! How about learning to open yourself up to other cultures and accept them for who they are instead of finding faults with everything.
Personally, I think you've totally overreacted to Mr India's posting. It's almost as if it hit a nerve. Relax! Breathe! And don't take life so seriously.
BTW, if my brother were to send me a posting like that - I would congratulate him for having his OWN opinions and respect him for what he believed. I'd still find it as funny as hell. Just because you disagree with it doesn't mean the whole world has to. Respect other people's opinions! Noone is encroaching on yours!

By Princess on Wednesday, March 10, 1999 - 01:33 am:

I actually agree with Hathoda however I also think that there is a question of maturity here.

I read the article with rather amazed amusement. I think it's a classic representation of how our culture treats the issue of "beauty". It clearly displays ignorance of the obvious and the double standards that are carried on in the Indian society. It's unfortunately sad.

However thank god for men like Mr. Hathoda it is quite possible to ignore the few illiterate and ignorant souls who display such hypocrasy. No intelligent and educated man in his right mind would agree with that and sadly the ones that claim to be so will agree to it anonymously only.

Just because one is able to write articulately doesn't mean one has the ability to make sense. A person could talk vastly and vividly about any issue provided one has training in doing so however sadly the article fails to come across as intelligently put together or well thought out. I still respect it because this is a free for all message board and ignorant and abbhorant as it may seem unfortunately Mr India does have the right to voice his opinion.

As for Miss Anonymous from December 8th. She's right, I'd completely agree with her. She doesn't display a hatred for the opposite sex as Mr India does and she doesn't ramble on about inconclusive crap and incompletely thought out notions. She simply takes the article apart piece by piece as any intelligent articulate person would.

I have one very dumb question for Mr India...What happens if you go to India tomorrow and marry an absolutely beautiful woman on the outside because apparently that is all you are concerned about. You bring her home and attempt to live happily ever after. She bears your children and you are madly in love with her and she is beautiful and you are the envy of the world. Then the following happens:
a. Then one fine day she's walking down the street and she has a terrible accident and she is defaced forever. She no longer looks beautiful. Do you leave her?

b. You come home to your perfect house with your perfect kids and perfect wife and find her in bed with your ugly, fat and bald neighbor. Do you leave her?

c. Same as above point b. but this time the guy is absolutely beautiful and you stand absolutely nowhere close to his beauty. Do you leave her?

d. You are happily married with kids for years and then your wife lets go. She turns into a fat slob who isn't appealing anymore. Do you leave her?

And another dumb question....does one honestly think that someone as perfect as the kind of women you are looking for in the article would actually go for someone "not as beautiful as her".

:-) Food for thought.

By Vijay on Saturday, March 20, 1999 - 02:19 am:

Mr India, do you have any other masterpieces that i can lay my eyes on ?

By RONY on Monday, June 14, 1999 - 01:36 am:

\\!////
(@ @)
========oooo0========(_)=========0oooo============


oooo0 0oooo
( ) ( )
\ ( \ (
\__) \__ ) Oh ok YOu know who this is Mr india he is stuck on the blode rope.........
Look what blonde did to her..
Hey folks as far as the marriage is concern its a gambling for god sakes don't make big fuss about any thing people say divorce is an crime which is committed by the two souls But when ever there a divorce word there is no fear in the relationship I was married to a girl in india for 25 days she was from ludhiana.......But she turn out to be a really bitchy women after the marriage and biggest liar I have ever seen in my life.......
Because she doesnot have the fear for the relationhsip she didnot care about any thing she think that she make 3000 R.s month she is the queen of punjab But she got to grow up But she married to me for the canadian status....Which never happened She demolish the relationship on the phone she never thought that I can cancel the visa too now she is crying that I insult her through out the india........Because when I went to india to see h er she ran away from house Hey bitch if you not a liar why the hell did u run away from the house two three times after the Marriage time Because u want the excuse to get out of ur parents house.....Now tell me how the hell I can make your relatives against you when I don't even talk to them because they know you are an awara girl Hey bitch beware of the world and the god....................................
This world is a half a god Yeh dunia sub kuch jantee hai.......................................
ANY WAY FOLKS MY POINT OF TELLING THIS LITTLE STORY IS THAT ANY BODY CAN USE U BUT YOU HAVE TO ACT TO THE SITUATION I WAS ATTACHED TO HER IN 25 DAYS OF MARRIAGE BECAUSE THAT WAS MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP I WAS INNOCENT BUT I DID NOT KNOW THE TRUTH PEOPLE IN INDIA ARE VERY SMART THEY THINK THAT THEY HAVE DEGREES AND SOME EDUCATION THEY THINK PEOPLE FROM NORTH AMERICA ARE STUPID AND NON THINKER............LET ME TELL YOU PEOPLE FROM INDIA DON'T THINK THAT THE PEOPLES FROM NORTH AMERICA ARE DUMMY YOU PEOPLE IN INDIA HAVE ONLY SEEN THE ONE PART OF THE WORLD BUT MOST OF THE NORTH AMERICAN ARE SEEN BOTH SIDES OF THE WORLD......I HAVE NEVER MET A INDIAN IN INDIA WHO TALKS IN FACT THEY ALWAYS TALK IN FANTASY IN THE AIR AND LET ME TELL YOU FOLKS YOU TALK TO ANY BODY A UNIVERSITY GRADUATE FROM THE NORTH AMERICA YOU WILL SEE THE CALMNESS IN HIM OR HER NO FUKERAPANTHEY AS AN INDIAN PUNJABI I AM SHAME TO SAY THAT THE CULTURE IN INDIA IS GOING DOWN THE DRAIN THEY ARE TRING TO ADOPT THE WESTERN CULTURE BUT THEY CANOT BECAUSE THEY WATCH WESTERN TV IN INDIA
NO MATTER WHAT YOU GUYS DO YOU CANOT COMPETE WITH THE NORTH AMERICANS FIRST OF ALL U HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOUR SELF BEFORE YOU GO ON WITH SOME BODY ELSE........I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST ANY BODY EVERY BODY IN INDIA IS NOT A CHOR BUT THERE ARE SOME NICE PEOPLE TOO .........................
HERE I TELL YOU ONE STORY IN INDIA FRIEND OF MINE WENT TO THE BAR IN DELHI INDIA HIS BROTHER WANT TO SHOW HIM THE BARS IN INDIA ................
THERE IS A BAR AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR THERE IS A BIG ROUND TABLE ON THAT TABLE THERE IS A LOTS OF KEYS THOSE KEYS BELONG TO THE COUPLES THEY COME TO THE BAR NOW ONE GUY COME AND PICKUP THE KEYS AND GO AROUND THE BAR BY HOLDING THE KEY HIGH UP IN THE AIR AND TURNING IN THE ROUNG MOTION NOW WHO EVER WANTS TO GO FOR THE NIGHT WITH THAT MAN OR WOMEN SHE WILL GO HOME WITH THE MAN OR WOMEN SHE HAS THE HOUSE AND SHE OR HE HAS THE HOUSE KEYS ......................
NOW I DID NOT BELIEVE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN I HEARD THIS STORY NOW YOU TELL ME WHERE THE HELL IS OUR SOCIETY IS GOING WHERE THE HELL THEY GET THAT IDEA....................................
TALK TO YOU LATER FOLKS....

By Sim on Monday, June 14, 1999 - 01:32 pm:

It is a very interesting real story by Rony. I do think people in India think they are saints. Infact majority have double standards. Majority are habitual liars. It is very difficult to trust them. I think read tha ads (hotmail classified-personal) see how many couples from India are looking for sex including housewives. It is amazing how people are in India. I have seen many of my Indians friends married to women from India. They are very egostic as well as big liars.

By Rayna on Monday, June 14, 1999 - 03:07 pm:

Rony and Sim,

YOU are both making huge generalisations. Just because these people are from India does not make them immortal or prevent them from making same mistakes as people from any other race do.

I understand you have had bad experiences....but they are still few compared to the vast other good experiences you can have if you have an open mind.

From your language RONY...I can see that you are very short tempered. I do not think it is right to post messages with such foul language.

Learn to say things in a proper manner and have respect to others who are not what you tell them to be or rather force on them the opinion you have of them.

If you are going through an arranged marriage...make sure you are mature enough...because it is harder than falling in love and marrying....do not go for arranged marriage just because you have no other option kind of a thing....

By Anonymous on Tuesday, June 15, 1999 - 03:01 pm:

I think majority of people go in good faith when opting for arranged marriags (when NRIs go to India for a spouse). The reason is many people from India paint that picture that they are religious and saints. They should have guts to say they are not. This causes lots of misery when they get married to Indians abroad who are brought up to different standards of honesty.

By Anonymous on Tuesday, June 15, 1999 - 03:06 pm:

Rony, I think is not short tempered but expressing his anger because he was cheated by the women whom he married and trusted. I think anybody in a similar situation would feel the same. He is justified in expressing his feelings. It is diificult for Indians from India to admit they are like this . It is their egos which are keeping them like this. They need time to reflect and make India a great country.

By Rayna on Tuesday, June 15, 1999 - 09:06 pm:

Whatever nationality you all embrace, whenever you wish,....in the end you are still of Indian origin..That is the bottom line. So how can you feel that you are different? Why do you go to India and marry? Why not marry people here? I have seen Indians (especially men), who will drink and all that over here...never tell their parents about anything...they will hang out with girls and much more...but when the question of marriage pops up, they rush to india to marry a "virgin".....Why? They give the appearance that they are very pure and good. So you all are also to take some blame that you put on all these Indians in India.

Rony....I can understand you anger ...but still you cannot insult a whole race and think you are superior just because you are a NRI!

By Anonymous on Wednesday, June 16, 1999 - 02:07 pm:

I think Rayna is talking nonsense when she thinks that Indian men drink while Indian women are saints and do nothing. Remember also that Indians born and brought up in countries outside India are different especially when it comes to honesty. The problem with India is that majority of people want to be westernised and hence the problems. Any many are willing to tell even small lies and also do lot of boasting. The reason why many people go and get married in India is because they are looking for "decent" girls. If most of Indians girls living outside India were so great then there would be no reason to go to India for marriage. It is useless to talk about virginity. How many men would know if a woman was a virgin before marriage or not . Please donot make sweeping statement.It is high time we relaised the problems. It is no use covering them up.I guess Indians born outside India are naturally different from the Indians from India.Remember all Indian men donot drink and have affairs before marriage.

By Rayna on Wednesday, June 16, 1999 - 05:27 pm:

Anonymous,

say what you wish. You are the one talking nonsense. Girls outside the US do things too. But it is the men who rush to India and say that they want virgin girls. Do you hear that among girls??? They do not write in their matrimonial ads.."Virgins only"..or any such nonsense!

My question is why want the best for yourself while you "spoil" the rest???

And no...every Indian man or woman does not do all this. There are exceptions to everything. Be intelligent in your argument...don't argue for the sake of argument!

By Anonymous on Thursday, June 17, 1999 - 10:42 am:

I think it is you who is talking nosense. I have not heard any man saying that he is going to India because he is looking for a virgin. Please get your facts right. I think you are living in dark ages. Please get your facts right. Donot tell me Indian women donot go to India looking for men there too. I think you have some sort of aggresive view against men. How did you get your statistics. Are you doing a doctoral thesis on it. You are tainting a bad picture about Indian men. I guess they donot find decent women overseas and hence they have to go to India . We have to be objective. Do you think all women in India are virgins and do men ask these women whether they are virgins or not. Men go to India for better wives because they believe and from experience that Indian girls overseas are not good for them. They go there because they want to be happy and not because they are virgins.

By Anonymous on Thursday, June 17, 1999 - 10:49 am:

I have not seen a single ad in matrimonal columns on the internet (including Indian newspapers on the internet) which state that they are looking for virgins. You are just talking without any documentary evidence. It is a thing of the past. I think you have to wake up to the facts. Facts deal with facts only. It is high time you did research on it before talking any nonesense. I thinking you are living in ancient times.

By Rayna on Thursday, June 17, 1999 - 09:09 pm:

****laugh**** how ignorant you are Anonymous!!!!!

By Rony on Sunday, June 20, 1999 - 10:49 pm:

Hi
This is Rony again......I think rayna needs a serious help.....I like to ask that to her that is she is virgin if she is not married or did she sleep with somebody before she got married and did she told her husband that I slept with so many guys,,,,,,I don't know...............
and I don't want to know, My point is when you get married with someone you are looking for a committment for the life time not that how many time you did it or not. As far as virginity is concern you can loose the virginity by doing exercise or cycling or any thing more physical work.....now if you loose virginity while you work out in the gym or in the field..........
HOw would you answer that when the husband ask you that what happened how would you answer.What you gonna say I lost my virginity because I was playing the soccer or in the gym.....May be he don;t know that you can loose the virginity by any sport.........Than he might think that you are slut........Now tell me how would u clear that situation. I ask this to Rayna............
Boys and girls goes to india to get married because they love india they are attached to their home land its a diffrent feeling for them when they goes to india and inthis process the population of indian in north america is gaining. which is good The northamerican people I mean white people know that tèe indian are the smart people They are all successful in their life.
So I am proud to be and indian and every body who is indian he should be............................
According to my previous message not every body is like my ex wife thats the most gufy individual I have ever seen in my life....................Tell me how the hell a husband can rape his wife she accused me in the court that I raped eventhe judge laughed when she say that in the court and I use to drink every day I had stayed with her first off all I don't like the drinks in india they suãks............
If she can prove that I had drink every day in those 25 days that I was married to her she is out of her mind I probably had drink 25 days in my life up to now............................I am the one of the most tallented person in north america If you live in michgan You can ask any body my name they will tell you what kind of boy I am..........................................Any body needs a dholy or want to learn classical music send me a email I will love to help you out Sorry for the coarse language in the previous I was upset and emotionaly disturbed.............

By Princess on Monday, June 21, 1999 - 02:39 am:

Alright lets not attack Rayna now. She's been here long enough to see and hear all the misconceptions and preconcieved notions that men and women have about the opposite sex here and the ones from India. She's allowed to state her opinion without anyone attacking her.

People go to India to find a significant other that is less "tainted" with the western world. That's the common concensus and anyone that doesn't think so is nieve. Most of the time it's the men who go to India to marry women there rather then vice versa because it's easier for men to bring wives here and mould them to the ways of life and work here. The common misconception is that the women from India are virgins and pure and fyi Anonymous and Rony people have come on these boards screaming how they want to go to India to find virgins so don't be judgemental. She isn't making this up.

Women from here tend not to go to India for a guy because it's harder to mould to a man from there. Those are just simple facts of life. It isn't wrong or right.

By Rayna on Monday, June 21, 1999 - 04:45 am:

Thanks Princess....I owe you one...***smile***

I never said that it is right for people to look for virgins...and especially when they have been fooling around themselves.

Rony and anonymous do not know how to read and understand English. They are as blind as bats. Being a girl and someone who is soon going to get married...I know what is out there. What I want to do with my body or my virginity, is not and should not be the focus of discussion here. What i was saying is that ...oh well..read the above postings..why should I waste my time for ignorant and egotistical males on here!

I will not care to answer to any more of Anonymous' or Rony's posts here. If you wnat help or advice or to share your thoughts...then welcome...but if you have come to bash at someone who is telling facts that you call myths..I advice...take a tour back to India and into the hearts and minds of the so called "good and virtuous"Indians who run to India to pick the "best girl".

By Rony on Monday, June 21, 1999 - 08:22 am:

Hi,
This is Rony again, Miss Rayna how can you say that we don't understand english If you canot respect any body please do not insult We didnot pick on you at all.You should check your spelling first how you spell the "want" it should be want not wnat...(chor kee dhariey mein Tinka).......
hahahahahahahhhahhaahah Rookee...................
Remember there is always somebody better than you don't think you are the best from the rest......Of course every body make the mistakes..
learn baby learn...............................

By Anonymous on Monday, June 21, 1999 - 10:57 am:

There is no logic in the latest write up !

By bhopad on Monday, June 21, 1999 - 08:41 pm:

Hi,
This message is for Mr. India. This discussion about beauty is all so intriguing. I belong to a family where my Mom is all for beauty (contrary to your views) in her would be daughter in law. In fact I have to get her to realise that looks are not everything MOM.. Another problem here is about height..whenever they get the right girl it is either few inches too high for me or too low. How do you decide whether an attractive girl who is a bit shorter than expected is OK or not?

This way i'll never make my way here..
thanks

By mm on Friday, July 23, 1999 - 06:05 pm:

All this talk confirms my firm belief that the whole arranged marriage thing sucks. Trying out things on our own and even risking heartbreaks and divorce is much much better than this systematic breeding mechanism. THIS ARRANGED SYSTEM MUST GO.

By bhopad on Monday, July 26, 1999 - 04:22 pm:

See mm,

The problem is always with us, never with the system. As along as you beleive in one system and stand by it..it will work for you. Arranged marriages are still working in India. The only problem in arranged marriages i feel is when parents become too demanding and fussy about insignificant traditions and customs. Especially parents of males they think they are in control now..they've been waiting for this time for a long time. These children need to get their act together and get married themselves..too much tradition is bad for health.

But as long as your parents are OK and are the communicating kind they're fine. you make use of their experienced eyes to get the right family and then see if the girl is OK for you..date her and decide within a time frame. I think arranged marriages produce a lot of long lasting relationships.

By Ami on Wednesday, August 11, 1999 - 07:25 pm:

This essay was hilarious! Rayna---I see your point. I too know many guys who like to "party", but when it comes down to marriage, they run the other direction, and look for the nice "decent" girl.

By Anonymous on Thursday, August 12, 1999 - 02:21 am:

Mr. India,

What you wrote... basically points out Indian hipocracy in a humourous way.

It is a simple reality of life... that no one has absolutely everything.

A girl with a beauty may lack other things, which will be compensated by her UGLY husband, because he is the one who has to live with her day in/out.

Ladies have we not noticed...that most Indian men after 30yr. of age...are bold, have a big belly and are insecure and constantly flirting/drulling at any women that walks by in front of them. At times she will be some UGLY guy's wife.

By Mr SkyBlue on Sunday, August 29, 1999 - 08:48 pm:

Mr India - you really need to sort out your attitude....you have NO respect for girls/women and you are a truly insensitive person who doesn't give a damn about the true characteristics of a good person, such as a good heart and a great personality. You are too into your "physical" requirements and looks and don't realise that there is simply more to a person than the way they look....

As for your comment on guys who don't always go for someone who is beatiful....well that type of guy is me! Fine if there is a girl that is good looking and you like her and she likes you then go for it....but if theres a girl with whom you have nothing in common and just think "look at how beautiful she is" then whats the point? Are you going to marry her just for the sake of getting complimented by strangers and for the attention you get from the public! What type of crazy fool what do that???

Moving on...

I have to say that I totally agree with what Rayna said...she made some really good points about messed up guys who are so hypocritical that at the time of marriage, whatever they've done in life suddenly doesn't count and the girl just has to be "decent" - well what goes around comes around!!

All you guys who think its your right to get a decent girl....get to grips with reality man! If you've messed about before then how can you possibly stand there and demand an innocent girl?

People should always look at themselves first before looking at others!!

There is also a BIGTIME misconception about the girls and guys in India.....they are in fact just as bad or good as people living in Western society and get up to the same things....actually they could even be worse in certain parts such as Bombay where it is normal for guys to "pick up" girls in clubs.....

This was just to show that things are not what they seem to be in India and just don't rule out marrying Non-Resident Indian's because chances are you're likely to get on better with someone who has had a similiar upbringing to you....(applies only to light minded individuals who are modern in thinking but yet traditional and cultured too!)....

Hope you found it interesting....I'd appreciate any comments anyone might like to add!

Thanks for listening...

By FunLover on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 11:09 pm:

Mr. Sky Blue,

Chill out dude, will you! Mr. India was trying to be funny. Just that, no more, and no less. We Indians tend to take ourselves rather seriously. What with our many hangups and all. I am not making a generalized statement out here. I am making a blanket statement. In our eagerness to become champions of equality and liberalism (a laudable thought, no doubt) we are dumping all over each other and coming to paranoid conclusions about everyone's chauvinism.

Mr. Sky Blue don't consider this a personal attack on you. Believe me, I'd be the last person to deny a person the right of opinion. I understand your ideas but do not necessarily agree with them.


Actually I was elated at seeing his piece. It was funny, not hilarious, just a tickler. Humor, which I find sadly missing in all of these sites, was it's substance. It was a satire on the present existing marriage system in India. And a dead right one at that. It was neither espousing arranged marriages nor belittling. Some of the frowners and nay sayers may contend that it was chauvinism masquerading as humor. Me says get a life!

Has this site been transformed into a morose punch bag where the glum come to flex their muscles in the name of "Serious Discusions"? If so, my dear friends, lets lighten up. Life is too short to be wasted in glumland.

Yes, I have been to the sad apology of a Humor site. Pathetic!

By Mr SkyBlue on Thursday, September 02, 1999 - 05:56 pm:

Hey...

Its me again. I have to admit that I did see the funny side of it too but you have to admit that there is a reality to what Mr India wrote!

And it was the REALITY that I was targeting....

Sure it was funny and yes it did make me laugh too! But I was trying to make a point and show my opinion...after all thats what this place is all about right?

Thanx for understanding my opinion anyway FunLover!

By someone on Sunday, September 05, 1999 - 02:18 am:

I think people go to India and marry a indian girl, because they get the thrill of bringing their bride to a new land, and showing them everything which is different here. This would be absent if one marries a girl in US.

By Opinion on Sunday, September 05, 1999 - 03:38 pm:

someone,

If guy wants to feel superior by showing her around that will wear off sooner or later. He just wants a mindless follower who can't think for herself.

Shows us the way of thinking of a hypocratic person.

Additionally, just because a human happens to be a MAN doesn't mean he is secure in his thinking. His weak ego, lack of confidence and ability to think rationally and logically may come into the play in his poor decision making process. If he is looking to impress his wife by showing her around. He is missing a bigger picture... He should show the world around his capabilities and make his parents proud, not just impress a one/single human being "wife".

Some of these men who wake up and realize 2.5yrs. later they married a wrong girl. I just read this on "Marriage failing topic".

Society and public's admiration may be good if he is in public eye,as an actor or politician etc. However, at the end of the day, he is the LOOSER having to live with her on a day to day basis.

Just because a person is good looking doesn't make them a decent human being, have a character, personality and a thought process (Brain on their shoulder that thinks!)

By Anju on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 06:47 pm:

Hi all... I have been reading this message board with great interest,and i am very amused then disheartened and then amused again ..and back and forth.. I think we all understand that even amongst ourselves there is a great misconception about what People are thinking when they go to India to marry. Myself, being someone born and raised in Canada, I have no problems marrying someone raised in India, but as has been previously mentioned,the various misconceptions some ppl seem to have about girls raised HERE...has gotten me scared...as well as those fears of "is someone wanting me cos of ME or is he wanting to get a quick visa to Canada?" I know that not all people are the same, and definately not everyone wants to come to Canada..but this is something that has been expressed by family/friends and others,
I just want to commend everyone here princess..hathoda...Mrindia...funlover..rayna..and others(sorry if I didnt mention you) for coming together and taking the time to express your view for the world to see. it is heartening to see that others do see the issues that many of us deal with on a regular basis, and it gives us hope. I think no one is wrong because everyone is expressing his/her own opinion,based upon their own experience and values.
Now how about we collaborate and try to come up with some solutions? I for one would like to see some proactive discussions here...where we can take some steps to make the whole process easier for ourselves..and be part of an exciting revolution at the same time!
Any suggestions??

By Princess on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 07:08 pm:

Anju,

Since you last visited and we chatted the board has spread to double it's size. There are a lot of strings and discussions going on and a lot more topics then there were before. Navigate around you will find a lot of discussions :-)

By just kidding on Sunday, November 28, 1999 - 05:47 am:

Why indian men are superior to indian women?

1) They never have to take any crap of being dutiful from their mother-in-laws.
2) Their mother-in-law and old friends never give a dam about putting on weight.
3) They can stay with there parents as long as they wish.
4) If they make money then no body expects them to do house work and even otherwise.
5) They never have to look good to keep dreams of marrying Aishwarya Rai but woman has to look very pretty
to marry Ajay Devgan.
6) There spouse's parents are always obliged to them for no reason.
7) Other indian men and women will never expect them to do anything for their in-laws and spouse.

Just kidding (:-

By A Celt on Saturday, April 08, 2000 - 10:46 pm:

Okay,
Listen up, because this is important. Some of
you already know that I am dating a Tamil woman,
while I am white. We are very happy together, and
that is the way it should be. However, I think that
so many people have gotten so hung up on looks that they can't see they may have something else to offer! I DO NOT have a perfect body, and neither does my gf. But, do you know what? That is totally okay. I don't have to look like Leonardo Di Caprio or Brad Pitt to be loved by my girlfriend, and she doens't have to look like some spaced-out runway model for me to find her very attractive.

So, let's look at the whole person, not just the persons physical appearance! We can change public opinion, because we are the public. This world is what we make of it.

By Anonymous on Tuesday, April 18, 2000 - 08:18 am:

Hey Mr India,
What you said is sadly true but funny.

By Raji on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 08:00 am:

I feel sorry for Indian guys trying to decide on photos alone. Current Indian fashion for bulky salwars must be making things harder as the women, even the pretty ones, are wearing too many layers and tent like kaftans. When I send my photos to a guy I usually wear a selection of western outfits to offer a more realistic representation. I may add that I am very slim and attractive so can carry them off...

By Hisla on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 06:29 pm:

Yeah your very slim and attractive and thats why your still looking ha ha

By R on Thursday, May 25, 2000 - 06:18 am:

You probably settle for the first jerk that comes along HA HA

By Hisla on Thursday, May 25, 2000 - 04:29 pm:

Hey Raji thanks for the email address ha ha
raji_00@yahoo.com

By raju on Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 04:15 am:

What Mr. India is written here is a brilliant and hillarious peice of article on arranged marriage. His article covers only the problem of picking a beautiful girl. Whether beautiful girls are good wives or are they decent is not the topic in discussion here. But most of the subsequent replies divert from this point and attack the author oa a personal basis. which is really ridiculous.
If you have better opinions or articles post them. why do you give a nonsense reply just for the heck of arguing? You should develop the habit of appreciating others opinion. This is problem with most of the guys
when they argue. First of all they dont understand what is going on. and thea they say all stupid things and pat themselves on the back.
Anyway, Good article, Mr. India. Keep them coming.

By Amitabh on Monday, July 31, 2000 - 10:26 pm:

Man, I love Hindustan.net.
People, I have been in the uSA for four years and have found American Women to be much better than Indian Women. i am not making any geralizations here, it's my experience.
Someone in this particular topic said that Indian men are not good-looking, are fat Balding (after 30) and "puny" and don't "respect women".
Typical-- say •••• when it is convenient and hide behind the " Mother and Sisters" shield when men say something.
I can say this with a very high degree of statistical confidence, Indian men have smaller dicks than African Americans but definitely not Whites or Chineese etc (infact we beat the chineese variety by a good couple of inches).

Indian women (95%) gain atleast 100-150 lbs. after marriage and then Blame men from straying. they would love to stray too--only not too many men are willing to climb a 300 lbs. mountain...
For anyone who says Lara dutta etc. , please , they are a very microscopic minority, do all Indian Men look like Sunjay Dutt? no, nor do Indian women have even halfway decent bodies.

If looks are not important for a woman why do the one's who have good bodies and looks show it off so that even a partially blind man should get a hard-on?

Face it, looks VS.Money---centuries old...both men and Women are hypocrites...

By yasmeen on Tuesday, August 01, 2000 - 04:56 pm:

Amitabh,

"If looks are not important for a woman why do the one's who have good bodies and looks show it off so that even a partially blind man should get a hard-on "

Amitabh so is it our fault if you "partially blind men" get their hard ons ?? Is it our fault if we happen to be attractive or have a toned body ???????? Grow up - puh leeze. Women have the right to wear what they want and most of the time its decent yet sexy. Just because we happen to be wearing a short skirt or an elegant sexy evening dress doesnt mean that we want to get hit on - get THAT into your head. Clothes, what we choose to wear is just an outward expression of the inner acceptance of our body image and the way we look. Women are intelligent, independent AND we're allowed to be sexy and charming. And i believe in the "if youve got it use it" mentality. I think a woman who uses her intelligence AND her sex appeal will probably get the better of the likes of you Amitabh. You dont realise that she tricks you into thinking that she's weak when all along youre under her spell - you poor guy. Which reminds me of this really pathetic line that this guy tried to use on me. I knew he was staring at me from across the room and then he tried to buy me a drink, keeps giving me the 'up and down scan' and then he tries to casually say " Your feet must be real tired cos youve been running through my mind all day" i wanted to burst out laughing and i was just dying to say "theres not much to run through" but i just smiled , flirted with him and gave him a wrong phone number. Now was that harsh well no, this guy who i know about is a serial two timer and he came without his gf on this occasion. So i had every right to treat him with the disgust he deserved. And the sorry thing is that he shares your name - what a pity.

By Lion King on Tuesday, September 05, 2000 - 02:36 am:

Hey folks,

This article is just plain hilarious!!! I do, however, think that a lot can be said about Indian guys. I mean, many of my whitey female friends claim they can smell an Indian guy miles away. So, what gives dudes? After cooking chicken curry and daal chawwal, why don't you guys at least shower BEFORE you go out? And use something called a toothbrush, or a chewing gum.....man daal is really healthy for ya, but I know no woman who'd be happy to smell it up close! Also, ladies, ladies, ladies, and I hope you guys are gonna back me up here, when you are in the company of whiteys, trying to act like them..just does not suit you. Yeah, smoke up a storm, quench your thirst, but don't act like you are a rani and lecture me on why I look at ya a certain way, you dig?

Oh, and you desi guys, when checking out a woman, don't act like your eyes are gonna pop out! Do it subtly, you know, check out the merchandise, and if yours is comparable, go for it! Otherwise, chill back, and enjoy the show!

By Nick on Tuesday, September 05, 2000 - 11:24 pm:

The article from Mr India provoked a multiplicity of comments and discussion.This will definitely enriched and enhanced the maturity of the people.We must remember that "Knowledge is Power"and normally the "wise shall live off the foolish"I trust that people should read the article objectively and be able to sift "the grain from the chaff"so it may lead to edification of the people........


Nick

By dee on Wednesday, September 13, 2000 - 10:28 am:

I just read that article from Mr. India. One thing that I was offended about was that he made all women seem like stupid creatures. I'll have you know that I am in college (one of the most prestigious universities in the world) and soon will be an engineer. I already have many high paying offers for jobs. So, men aren't the only ones striving to get ahead, many women are already there.

By Ashish on Saturday, September 23, 2000 - 12:43 am:

This simply a satirical essay, and I wonder why it evokes such a strong reaction from some people. Some think it is sexist, well maybe, but the ones who are crying about it should have a more open mind. Believe me, the only people who have written to me about this article were liberated women who could see humor beyond the words. They loved it. The only problem I saw was that the author probably put it in a serious discussion group, whereas this article deserves to be in a humor section.

In any case, the writer's command of the English language is commendable. A well written essay.

By Anonymous on Friday, September 29, 2000 - 01:16 am:

Mr. India,
By reading your letter i think your "ARRANGED MARRIAGE" is not working out well for you. And i felt so sorry about your mother becuase she did not want you to get a beautiful girl than hers(what a jelous mom!!!! ). But u need to know one thing beauty is not everything. Try to find out ur wife's personality if you are already married and also even if she is very beautiful or ugly(incase). Remember every person have their own beauty.

Since you worked so hard to come here for ten years that does not mean a girl did not work hard. In India i think most of the girls have a good education back ground. Even if you have a good education(i guess)by reading ur letter i think you forgot to explore urself on a broad knowledge about life. Beauty is one small factor in wedding from the guys that i know of. I am not saying about the guys from all the states in India.
Also, i never seen a girl seeking for a man in USA from india. I have seen a lot of guys from usa seeking a girl from india. Girls in usa also like a guy from india itself(not born here i guess).
It is sad that u said guys can be ugly but girl must be beautiful. Remember girls have a mind and spirit that is equal to guys.

By Aruna on Friday, October 20, 2000 - 01:41 am:

Dear Mr. India,

I think this article is really good and humorous but do u have one for ladies like choosing the right and cute guy?

Thanks

By eminem on Sunday, October 22, 2000 - 01:22 am:

Dear Mr. India,

You re gay...you're dumb and absolutely don't have the sense of judge.

By sai on Thursday, November 09, 2000 - 07:53 pm:

hi everyone,
esp mr. india,

i don't think most women who are pretty are obnoxious.. this is very wrong in my opinion because most of the girls i know, (incl. me) are very pretty(i mean it.. i'm not boasting.. i'm being practical). but they are some of the best people one can ever know..when we walk on the road, everyone stares,really, and we are only 16-17! but all of us are very understanding and very much fun to be with.. also, sometimes having a pretty woman for a wife is good because they usually have a good sense of esteem(not all though) and a great sense of fun and so, you can be sure that you'll have fun.. but ofcourse character is very important 'cuz once you get used to the pretty face, you will start to look at the faults in the character.. this is just my opinion.. if anyone thinks i'm wrong or has any comments please tell me.. i'd like to learn.
sai

By Wanda Rembrandt on Thursday, November 09, 2000 - 11:19 pm:

good to know there`s stiil hope for us! =D

By ALI BARBA on Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 06:19 pm:

HELP A REAL FEMALE BEAUTY WITH A RICH SENCE OF HUMOR
ALI BARBA

By Anonymous on Saturday, December 02, 2000 - 11:03 pm:

Wish your wife/wife to be knows your disgusting idea in getting married to her !!!!

By Anonymous on Wednesday, December 06, 2000 - 02:54 am:

with love

By GOURY on Thursday, March 08, 2001 - 07:09 am:

Hello folks! I am from Malaysia and of indian origin. Married to a German guy and now live happily in US. There are so many indians in Malaysia. To touch on Mr. Right's opinion..I can't say anything..it's his opinion..but my support goes to Rayna on the point that indian guys being choosy when it comes to indian bride (not all indian guys..the affected ones should feel the pain). U are absolutely right Rayna, many indian guys want to look at the girl's picture even demand for virgin wives. Their history..ops wrong to ask. Do you know how every girl feels when she has to bring drinks in front of a whole big family which comes to propose her. All eyes are on her..and she has to carefully fall and touch the in-laws feet. That is called a 'Decent Lady'!So many indian women are doing this for the sake of marrying an indian husband? Yet this is how the indian guys re-pay their respect? What crab is all this about! Yet how many indian women are making fuss about good looking indian guys..ARE INDIAN GUYS REALLY GOOD LOOKING? (point to ponder)!See even Mr. Right whom has first initiated the article is indian guy? WHY? What's wrong with all these guys? Are we indian girls going around arguing about the decency of indian guys?..U guys provoke us. U can share ur opinion. But it should sound as opinion rather than argument and looking down on the opposite sex generally.
I've been staying in US for almost 15 years. U want me to compare the rate of decency between indian women and other races? Indian women are so much better of in terms of attitude, social well-being, well mannered, respectful to older generation, moderation, good cooks ...so on. See Mr. Right and others whom are of the same opinion, if u don't like indian women, u think that they are hypocrite....please don't make their lives miserable by getting married to them. THEY DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER. AND TO ALL INDIAN WOMEN OUT THERE, OPEN UP YOUR HEART AND MINDS TO OTHER RACES, U'LL BE ABLE TO TEACH THEM OUR INDIAN CULTURE AND U'LL BE SURPRISED BY THE WONDERFUL RESPONSES, THEIR EAGERNESS TO LEARN INDIAN CULTURE/TOTALLY FASCINATED BY THE WAY U WEAR SAREE AND MOVE AROUND COMFORTABLY AND GRACEFULLY AND THE LIFETIME COMMITMENT SHOWN BY THEM..INDIAN WOMEN CAN DO IT.

(ps: Me for all that matters, ignored all the proposals and opt to follow my heart..hence ended up falling for a German)Cool!

By Krishkr on Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:22 am:

A Virgin guy can only exepect a Virgin girl.
Can the Virgin guy ask directly the girl if she is virgin before marriage or do enquire regarding her in College,School,Neighbourhood,friends.

By Krishkr on Wednesday, April 11, 2001 - 01:22 am:

A Virgin guy can only exepect a Virgin girl.
Can the Virgin guy ask directly the girl if she is virgin before marriage or do enquire regarding her in College,School,Neighbourhood,friends.

By Chowdhury on Saturday, May 19, 2001 - 07:44 am:

What is this talk about "we have to respect Indian girls, they are our sisters, mothers, & future wives, " geez, isn't there an obvious difference in one's relationship with one's wife/girlfriend and one's mother/sister? One where physical beauty plays a major role?
But I understand why so many people are hopping mad. Sex for plasure is soooo unIndian, the woman should have sex for procreation...the man sometimes does the same or goes out & finds prostitutes. So many Indian women have hangups about sex, beauty, fashion etc (many won't even be naked even in front of their husband)! And men are no better, they want a modest, homely (!) girl before marriage & a Pamela Lee afterwards! And please, no pontification about sacred Indian culture, much as I cherish my Indianness & my family, even as we write, there are women being burned to death for dowry in Holy Mother India...

By lord2020 on Saturday, July 14, 2001 - 10:09 pm:

Rayna,

Do you know any place called Khulna?

By Obvious on Monday, August 27, 2001 - 01:07 pm:

This post is not on the matter of marriage but beauty ideals.

What's wrong with a bit of extra weight on a women's body? Why is everyone so obsessed with the skinny, bony half-starved look, that has become dominant in the "Western" Fashion Industry?

I personally like a more healthy, curvacious look that is usually present in India. Hasn't anyone ever watched Hindi movies? The beauty ideal in India is much more centred around the voluptious belly-navel showing look, that comes across nicely in sarees and gagra-choli's.

Why should the world only have room for one beauty culture? India's got it's own beauty & fashion culture that's probably thousands of years old, and that includes amazingly fine stitches/ designs and
elaborate jewelry that is out of this world.

Have an appreciation for any beauty ideal you want, but (obviously) in the end you marry a person and not a beauty ideal. (duh)