| By Anonymous on Thursday, February 28, 2002 - 03:27 am: |
Go to http://mysticalguide.com
It has help for people who undergo suffering.
| By Anonymous on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 01:13 pm: |
hi,
I am undergoing the pain of being harrassed by my husband and my inlaws. I come from a well to do family and was married to a Doctor and the marriage was a completely arranged marriage. Little did I and my family know that he got married just for the sake of money. From day one, they started demanding car, hosptial to be constructed, house in bangalore etc. etc. I was bearing all the house hold expenses and he never gave any money including his brother's wedding, his third brother's treatment who happened to be a schizophrenic. There was not even one day that I could think of where I lived happily with him. We got married in August 1998. He harrassed me day in and day out and abused me and my family. He never allowed me to work in peace and always fighting. At times, he would take me on pretext of going out and drop on the outskirts of bangalore late in the night. He would let the gas open, force me to consume outdated medicines and life was hell. I had to lose my job as I couldn't concentrate on myjob. He was always on night duty and he was always saying being a doctor nobody can do anything and it is easier to kill me and get away from it. When the demands grew more and more and deadlines being set, I called enough is enough and lodged a complaint on dowry harassement and mental agony with all the proof. He was booked under IPC 498A,506 and 3/4 of dowry act in May 2001. He and his mother was booked and later he pleaded to agree for divorce. He took bail saying that he is a doctor. The inspector at the station requested me to go for mutual divorce and asked to keep the case pending. Since I decided not to live with him anymore, I agreed. In july 2001, we submitted the petition for mutual divorce. Later he demanded money to sign the papers when the 6 months due came. During the 6 months, he harrassed us, threatened to kill me and my parents..God only knows the amount of trouble that I am undergoing and it is a silent death and wish no girl on this earth undergo this treatment. Again, he attempted to murder me in Jan 2002 by throwing acid on me. He fed some money to the various people at the police station that any amount of complaining is not being listened to. Due to attempt to murder, he was again booked under IPC 506 and let on bail on the pretext that he is a doctor. I wanted to know how do I proceed and seek divorce from this mad person and is there a law which is different for doctor in india who harrasses his wife for dowry and causes mental agony. Can I convert the existing mutual petition i.e. section 13B to normal divorce petition i.e. seciton 13. Please help and any women associations who can help me at bangalore that I can contact. I am on the verge of nervous breakdown...
| By Anonymous on Tuesday, February 12, 2002 - 11:30 am: |
Dear Sir,
I have got recently married 1 month Back. After ten days of staying with me my wife went back to her Hometown to write her exams. and due to some misunderstanding we had a quarrel now she is not willing to return to our house and says that the marriage is over and that she prefers to live alone. Even her parents are not advising her to come back as such I would like to know if I could get a Divorce from her as early as possible so that I could carryon with my life.
| By Anonymous on Saturday, January 19, 2002 - 03:15 pm: |
January 19, 2002
I got married on 16.04.2000 at Vijayawada. Since the day of my
marriage my wife behaved very badly with me. She does not respect
me/ or her parents. She does not listen to any body. She is the
most unfeeling woman I have ever seen before. She respect only
her feelings and does not bother others. The marital intercourse
has not taken place. My first night was very horrible as she
behaved very strangely. She broke her bangles and threatened to
commit suicide if I touch/approach her. I slept on ground without
any bedsheet or pillow that day and thereafter we use to sleep
seperately in the same bed room. For pursuing studies, she stayed
very few days in Hyderabad and left to join B.Sc. final year
course to Vijayawada and after completing final year course
unsuccessfully she came here along with her parents and stayed
very few days. She is not interested in doing any house hold
work/ feel responsible towards it. She always love to sleep only.
On the day of marriage anniversary she said that she can no
longer stay with me as she is not interested in marrried life.
The main problem is that she is not interested in one of the
basic physiological need of human being i.e. sex. I remained calm
and insisted her not to take such drastic action keeping in view
of her unmarried two sisters. But she didn't care for it and said
it would be better for both of us to live separately and after
few days she quarreled with me, with my mother and sister and
left to Vijaywada (her parent's residence) and refused to come
back. I went to my in-law's residence and I felt very much
insulted as she did not even show her face to me.
Atlast I felt very much disgusted with her and decided to get
divorce from her and expressed the same to my parents which was
subsequently intimated to their parents but they are not willing
to go for it. They keep on dragging the issue and are not
settling my marriage issue. As I am the only son and having faced
problems with my three sisters and my depressed parents being old
I desparelty need your help to sort out my problem of getting
divorce from her. Please, please, please, help me out.
Thank you in anticipation.
Friendly yours
A.Sreenivas, Hyderabad
| By a on Friday, December 28, 2001 - 12:34 am: |
a
| By Anonymous on Monday, December 03, 2001 - 02:05 pm: |
Hello,
I am a 27 year old hindu punjabi male in the US from a wealthy family in India. I was lazy and did not educate myself in India, assuming I would work for my father. My wife (3 years although we lived apart for 2.4 years while she studied) has always been unstable emotionally and it got to the point where she could not go 5 hours without screaming, crying, hitting. I know she married me to escape her at that time "horrible parents." I was young and stupid and fell in love. First time I ever had sex was with her, etc. She suddenly became best friends with her parents after and she and the whole relationship changed. The basis of our marriage was not strong at all. I don't think one can get married to run away from something else andbe happy for the long run.
We lived in our house in India and my mother adores her regardless of what went on. The manipulation of my loving mother was an Oscar winning performance. Although she may compare her to an annoying dog in private, in public she couldn't have been "more closer" Even her infidelities were not taken seriously by my mother. When I discovered she had been meeting and being sexual with other men, my mother dismissed it as "it can't be true." When she left for America, indefinately, and left me in India (saying she may/may not come back in 1.5 years - you are free to do what you want for that time) I fell in love with someone else. My father and brothers agreed for divorce. My mother said, absolutely not, go to her in America, and work it out. I thought going to America would be a good opportunity to gain independence and get an education. I also thought that as I got used to America I could explain to my parents I wanted out of the whole situtation and start an independent life for the first time. The problem is financial independence. I lived in a joint family and I was solely dependent on my father's money. Now I am dependent on my inlaws room and board, my fathers tuition payments, and my wife who I do not love but can tolerate so I am not out on the streets. My mother continues to want me to stay with the marriage and any promises of money in a few month are dependent on the fact that I am married. This is killing the person I love who is strong and independent and assumed I would leave this situation. I want to stay in America with my love and get out of the situation but I have no idea how to even begin to convince my parents who control my life financialy until I get a minimal degree (which is 3.5 years) that I want a divorce and to live on my own. They have money, but even though my mother, who is loving and manipulated by my wife to an extreme won't begin to reason. I get angry at the one I love and keeping telling her to give me time - I have to convince my parents. I feel like such a jack ass because she can't understand why I can't break away so quickly because of my parents. I want to get out as quiclky as possible. What is your advice?
| By linges on Friday, November 16, 2001 - 02:59 am: |
hey friends.
I am in chennai i feel very much distressed in life i would like to have a good and real friend
| By nice_guy on Saturday, January 13, 2001 - 02:42 am: |
Thank you harassed husband for your reply...
I saw your notes and empthasize with your situation. I t must be hard on you. Thank you for your notes and comments...I shall give them a thought...
One thing though: you had mentioned I do nothing at this point, just remain quite...
Before my wife had left home, there were many a times I had told my wife that this marriage may not work out because of this interference from her family...but she used to be so confident saying it will work..it will work...don't worry...give me a chance... In response I had once told her I found no motivation at all anymore...
Everyone needs time to change. I have lived a independent life for some time...and she has'nt. I wonder if i was a bit harsh in not giving her a chance...I was'nt sure what she meant by a chance though because all my cries never got heard till such a time I said I want seperation. I sometimes wonder if she left home because of the part about "no motivation" hurt her a lot.....frankly it was getting to a point were I was living like a life I was'nt sure why I was doing all the things for my wife...when she could'nt understand how much I liked her...and cared for her.
| By Anonymous on Sunday, February 11, 2001 - 10:21 pm: |
Thank you harassed husband again for your feedback. I have basically decided to move on. If she ever feels how much I loved her, then I will think at that point.
But the truth is I know, I loved her from my heart. And I am happy for that. What saddens me is that she never seemed to realize this...and is filled with so much anger...
I wish that in life good things happen to all and I learn my lesson from this marriage.... I seek courage and strength everyday to face the new day with smile.
Thank you again to all who contribute to this forum. We all have so much to learn from each other. No one is perfect and I realize I am not alone w.r.t to the kind of problems I faced. I hope to become a better man
| By Dexter on Thursday, February 22, 2001 - 01:16 am: |
Love is the easy part. Love is free. Maintenance is the hard part. Maintenance (parts and labor) is the more expensive part of a marriage or any relationship--just like a car or a house, you have to keep it fresh and neat for as long as humanly possible.
Love help you through the maintenance. But if you really want to stay in love (especially with each other 'together'), then I suggest (coming from my observance and experience) that both persons should be ready to work as a team, and be ready to give a lot of maintenance to the relationship.
| By Anonymous on Saturday, June 02, 2001 - 02:53 am: |
I need some incite. I am white and dating a divorced Indian woman. Her parents have not been told yet and she is concerned that they wont approve. She has been lead to believe that the divorce is a plight against her family and that our relationship will be viewed the same. I think the sooner they know the better but it's her decision to make and all I can be is supportive of her through out. Please help me understand better the different feelings on these matters. Are the view points different in India than they are in the USA and how? Thank you
| By Kapsic on Saturday, June 09, 2001 - 05:08 pm: |
Hi,
I am in a dilemma. I used to have epileptic attacks when I was a kid. Now Iam 30 and have not had an attack for more than 10 years. I am about to get married soon and wondered whether to give this info to the prospective bride. Personally, I want to do it, But, so far all the girls I have told this to (about 8-10) have cancelled the proposal either because the parents did not like the idea or on their own. The epileptic attacks have occurred only 5-6 times in my life and I am not handicapped in anyway. I enjoy racing bike and swimming. Of course I am still on medication. I would like your suggestion if it is okay to withhold this information from the prospective bride till after the marriage. I am living in India and am a doctor by profession. A good number of the girls I have 'seen' were also doctors, and in some cases, the parents were.
| By saju on Tuesday, July 24, 2001 - 04:53 pm: |
HI MY NAME IS SAJU AND I AM IN LOVE WITH NAMRATA BUT WE HAVE A PROBLEM I AM MUSLIM AND SHE IS HINDU SHE ALSO LOVE ME BUT HIS FATHER HAVING A PROBLEM SO PLEASE ADVICE ME
| By Anonymous on Tuesday, September 04, 2001 - 05:53 am: |
A site that provides legal
support/help to NRIs.
http://www.nrilegalservices.com
| By Anonymous on Friday, September 14, 2001 - 08:07 pm: |
Hi,
My brother is going through a similar situtation as
Mr.Nice Guy. Many of the incidents are quite identical. They are going through the divorce.
A few details:
My brother-US citizen
the wife(ex-wife)- Indian citizen
Both are hindus
wedding took place in India.
Been Married for: 2 years.
An arranged marriage.
Questions:
1. DOes my brother file in India or US?
2. SHe has a conditional greencard and the status will change to a permanent greencard shortly.
THe INS said "tough luck" to us. Looks like US citizens are not "really protected", and looks like our Hindu laws of justice isn't protecting anyone these days either. Seems like the saying "nice guys finish last" is in fact true!
sorry, let me get off my soap-box!
It is to my understanding that "good guys" are always royally screwed!!!!!!!!!
3. Would my brother have to pay an alimony?
They never had any problems that was overt nor brought to anyone's attention.
The wife(soon to be ex-) abruptly announced she wants out of the marriage:
We all repeatedly asked why?
Her answers/response:
1. "I'm confused"
2. "We are incompatible"
3. "I feel guilty"
why? NO response- silence is her favorite
answer!
4. "I have done injustice to your family"
how? NO reponse- silence
5. "I don't have to give an answer as to why I want out of the marriage"
Sorry- Cannot walk out of a marriage without a
solid reason.
Her response "No one has to give a reason to walk out of a marraige".
Is the message clear? Or are we in so much denial that we never saw this coming?
Please help!!!!!
Someone please help us!
Thanks,